Tuddd's Muddd

The Best (and worst) Albums of 2009 (so far)

    Let's not gild the lily-- if these reviews seem bitchier than usual, it's for the simple reason that this has been an historically atrocious year for new music.  Here's hoping the next few months improve matters since there's all kinds of potentially great shit poised to drop before the year's up.  Fortunately I have a pretty significant backlog of albums I've hoarded over the last several years, and this year's shortage of good new shit has just meant I've been able to delve into the collected works of bands that y'all probably already know and love. 

    As usual, the rules for this list remain the same: this is newly-released full-lengths only, so there are no singles, reissues, or greatest hits comps on here.  And these are all albums that I personally either bought myself or paid to download (except one which shall go nameless, and the Moby record which I streamed at NPR).  So it's not like I stole this shit just so I could write snarky reviews.  Enjoy! (or don't.)

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1.) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz -- I was absolutely in love with the noisy direction the Yeah Yeah Yeahs had taken on 2007's awesome Is Is EP, so naturally I cringed when I heard the new one would feature an entirely new stylistic twist n' turn into disco-ish territory.  To me, this foretold of a streamlining/mainstreaming of their sound, and I wasn't the hugest fan of their previous attempt at conventionality on Show Your Bones, because I kinda always felt the YYY's material is at its best with plenty of roughness around the edges.  But f all that; simply put, Blitz contains their strongest songwriting ever, framed by absolutely letter-perfect production.  From rave-ups to poppy shit to straight-up dance rock and even earnest ballads (?!) this album proves that the YYYs are good enough to be able to put gimmickry aside and churn out an album full of amazing songs.

2.) The Crocodiles - Summer of Hate -- I've had this on heavy rotation since I caught them at Union Pool last month.  The recipe is simple: snotty vocals, analog synth, blazing guitar tone, drum machine.  Imagine, say, a bratty Suicide mixed with J&MC's noisy melodicism.  No less than 3 positively stellar competitors for the title of best-song-of-the-year: the title track, "I Wanna Kill" (what a fucking triumphant chorus!!) and "Sleeping With the Lord."  [Interestingly, the singer is apparently a substitute teacher at a special ed school.  I had several similar jobs years ago so I think think is awesome.]

3.) Crippled Black Phoenix - The Resurrectionists/Night Raider -- Sprawling double-album companion piece to 2007's pretty good A Love of Shared Disasters, this surpasses Disasters in every way that matters.  Several distinct styles are explored, from galloping, Floydish numbers ("Rise Up and Fight") to more traditional post-rock ("Burnt Reynolds") to folk (um, lots of 'em), with cleverly varied instrumentation.  The real improvement is in the haunting melodies, which creep their way into your mind -- have fun trying to get the accordion riff from "200 Tons of Bad Luck" out of your head.  Is there a significant amount of filler?  Yes, and some of the songs seem to take forever to get where they're going (the payoff is worth it more often than not, however).  Although the pervasive mood can be characterized as "morose" or "downcast," there's more than enough light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel hopefulness to transcend mere mopiness.  Yes, this album is uplifting enough to beat the misery of an hour on the 4 train.  Several days a week. 

4.) The Dead Weather - Horehound -- Man, I hated the first single ("Hang You From the Heavens") when I first heard it, but consider me totally 180'd on that one... as it turns out it's actually one of the year's finest songs thus far.  In many ways, this album is the exact sum of it's parts: there's a definite old-school Kills sound on most of the songs, some bluesy crunch courtesy QOTSA, plenty of the White Stripes' minimalism and quiet/loud dynamic, as well as some vintage Raconteurs-style blandness.  Probably Alison Mosshart's most soulful vocals ever, too, which says quite a bit.

5.) Goes Cube - Another Day Has Passed -- I've liked every one of these guys' self-released EPs, but this one is the first that actually approaches the furious intensity of Goes Cube's thrash-tastic live show.  Highly fucking recommended. 

6.) The Thermals - Now We Can See -- No, this doesn't come anywhere close to matching '06's landmark The Body, The Blood, The Machine, but if you pick this one apart (say, like an orange) there's still several good songs for all your mix-tapin' needs.  The rave-ups and more solemn songs are fine, but at times the sappiest of this bunch manage to plumb the sickeningly sweet depths of '02's smarmy-as-all-get-out Hutch and Kathy project.  Just skip those ones, though.

7.) Children - Hard Times Hanging at the End of the World -- Rockin', technically precise thrash that's fun as hell.  The video for their lead single shows that these guys have a sense of humor to match their formidable chops.  Great, great listen.

8.) Kylesa - Static Tensions -- 3 bona fide sludge classics on here ("Scapegoat," "Unknown Awareness," "To Walk Alone") framed by some lesser-but-still-pretty-darn-good stoner jams. 

9.) Heartless Bastards - The Mountain -- The bluegrassy shit is terribly boring but the 3-chord grunge jams are emotive, soulful and rockin'.  Employ your skip button judiciously.

10.) Dead Mellotron - Ghost Light Constellation EP -- How rare is it that a random band you've never heard of friends you on MySpace and it turns out their music is actually really good?  Several lo-fi, hazy, shoegazy gems on this one, and you can download it for free here.

11.) Dan Deacon - Bromst -- Easily Dan Deacon's best songwriting ever, and the first thing I've heard by him that displays any real heart to speak of.  But fans of his spazzier stuff can rejoice: plenty of wackiness (notably the goofy sound effects and pitch-shifted vocals) remains.

12.) Hull - Sole Lord -- Let me start by saying that 2007's Viking Funeral is one of the most aggressive, arresting metal epics I've ever heard, and for anyone who's had the pleasure of seeing Hull perform it live, you have to think "man, they're going to have to tone down the next thing they do a coupl'a notches if they're going avoid burning themselves out."  That being said, I was a little disappointed with this album's subdued, at times even new-agey feel.  Don't get me wrong, there are still several great bonecrushing moments on this record, but nothing here matches Viking Funeral's singular awesomeness.

13.) Death - ...For the Whole World to See -- A few people have hailed this as an "unearthed classic" or whatever which isn't exactly the case -- the material's good overall, but not great.  Although there are only two truly great songs here ("Keep on Knocking," "Politicians in My Eyes,"), understanding the context in which it was written, recorded, and ultimately forgotten for a quarter century is pretty neat. 

14.) Big Business - Mind the Drift -- The bass should be louder, the vocals should be turned down, and the guitar parts should just be fucking erased.  Seriously, with Big Business, the sludgier the better, and here the head-scratchingly awful production choices almost -- almost, mind you -- ruin it.  "The Drift" is one of the year's best songs, though.

15.) These Arms Are Snakes - Tail Swallower and Dove -- Several killer, bone-crushing grooves on this one ("Ethric Double," for one, is undeniably great), although at times it degenerates into what comes across as mathed-up emo. 

16.) Black Math Horseman - Wylt -- Typically serviceable stoner metal.  Yes, it's plodding and monotonous, but either way, it's still better than that Black Mountain "light bright light bright light bright" horsecrap. 

17.) Dinosaur Jr. - Farm -- I had really high hopes for this one after the awesomeness of 2007's triumphant comeback Beyond, but the second half of this record really drags.  On the positive tip, they did drastically improve the mix in comparison to Beyond: rather than placing the vocals front and center, the grunginess and fuzz really suit these guys.  (Think You're Living All Over Me.)  Also, I should mention that Farm does not lack for stellar guitar solos, if you're into that sort of thing.

18.) Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown -- At nearly 70 minutes this bad boy is overstuffed to the point of being comically bloated.  Tough to get through in one sitting, although there are some decent tunes on here (I'm partial to the title track).

19.) LiveFastDie - Bandana Thrash Record -- Potty-mouthed gutterpunk by these drunken louts who (presumably) named their band after one of GG Allin's tats (peep his left tit).  Very fun at times, but sometimes too retarded for their own good.  Plus, "Fat Guy with an iPod" hits a bit too close to home *SNIFFLE*

20.) Dex Romweber Duo - Ruins of Berlin -- Somewhat of a disappointment after seeing their garage-filthy live show.  Some tepid guest spots (Cat Power, Neko Case) take the music in the wrong direction: in a sane world this would be presented as distorted, raucous fare, not mild-mannered imitation bar-band averageness.  Dex's amazing voice (part Roy Orbison, part Jerry Lee Lewis) saves this one.

21.) Stinking Lizaveta - Sacrifice and Bliss -- Dexterous, proggy licks crammed together, kind of in the vein of a more stoned Fucking Champs (if the Champs had an electric stand-up bassist). 

22.) Deerhunter - Rainwater Cassette Exchange EP -- I'm used to Bradford Cox putting out tossed-off sounding stuff under the Atlas Sound moniker and saving the good shit for Deerhunter records, but this one pretty much splits the difference there. 

23.) Mono - Hymn to the Immortal Wind -- Not bad, but I can't understand why you'd bother with this when there's so much other great post-rockish stuff out there.  Yes, the instrumentation sounds painstakingly orchestrated, but the music just isn't great enough to warrant the feeling of timelessness that they're clearly shooting for.

24.) Franz Ferdinand - Tonight! Franz Ferdinand -- Pointless beyond the first single, "Ulysses," which was actually quite good.

25.) Los Straitjackets - The Further Adventures of Los Straitjackets -- Might as well have just named this one Etc. because while it's in the same vein of their previous output, it's nowhere near as good as much of it.  Remember - while these guys are probably best known for their "Wipe Out!" soundalikes and film/TV theme covers, it's on their more original-sounding compositions ("University Blvd.," "Pacifica," "Casbah," "State Fair," etc.) that they've really earned their mettle up till now.  Alas, this is record is mostly uninspired rehashes. 

26.) Moby - Wait for Me -- Good background music; nothing more, nothing less. 

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NOTE-- albums below here are all interchangeably crappy, so I didn't bother numbering them.  Why bother writing reviews for them then, you may ask?  Three simple reasons: 1.) I don't have a real job; 2.) I'm bitter about having spent money on them; and perhaps most importantly, 3.) I'm fresh out of pork rinds so I'm going to need something to occupy my hands for the next hour or so.  Happy?

- Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion -- I doubt I'll ever "get" these guys mainly because I'm a fan of memorable melodies.  You will find none of those on this album.

- Art Brut - Art Brut vs. Satan -- Loved the first album just like everyone else, but it's time to send this one-trick pony to the glue factory already.  Not even production by Frank Black can save this one from being wholly inessential.

- Boston Spaceships - Planets are Blasted -- The "Pay Bob's Mortgage You Sucker" campaign fumbles onward with this, yet another horrible album.  And still, like a total fucking moron, I hold tight to the misguided notion that at some point Bob may rediscover the brilliance that made me such an eager devotee for several years.  Y'know what?  Fuck "brilliance."  At this point I'd settle for Fiction Man II or some such.  [Note: yes, I did preorder Bob's newest forthcoming solo record yesterday.  I hate myself.]

- Isis - Wavering Radiant -- Another band that I'm "supposed" to love because I like Tool and I enjoy all kinds of good post-metal-ish stuff, but frankly I just don't see it.  The riffs are poor-man's at best and what's worse, the sung vocals sound like Nick Hexum.  Shudder.

- Mastodon - Crack the Skye -- A major turn for the worse.  First off, if you're going to jack up your (crappy) vocals, you may want to think about writing a decent fucking melody first, no?  Second, for a band frequently cited these days as being among The Best Metal Bands in the World, whither all the great riffs?  I'll tell you exactly where: "The Czar" at about 4:00 and again in the same song at 7:40; the intro to the title track; and 8:25 or so into "The Last Baron."  Seriously, that's it.  Weak.

- Maximo Park - Quicken the Heart - Futureheads>Bloc Party>Young Knives>Arctic Monkeys>Maximo Park>Kaiser Chiefs.  Nuff said.

- NODZZZ - NODZZZ -- Useless.  For all the kids out there that think horrendous crap like Nodzzz or Wavves or Vivian Girls or The Beets perfected lo-fi, please spend some quality time with Alien Lanes and see how this shit's really supposed to be done.  Thanks!

- Pelican - Ephemeral EP -- First thing by these guys I've heard that I haven't absolutely adored.  These 3 songs suck ass.  (Full disclosure - I think City of Echoes is one of the two finest albums of the aughts.)  

- Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - I think this is trite, and the songwriting's poor-at-best.  Discuss!

- Praxis - Profanation: Preparation for a Coming Darkness -- Unfortunately, the emphasis here is not on the band (killer B's Bill Laswell, Buckethead, Bernie Worrell and Brain)'s formidable chops, but on shuffling a new, different guest vocalist in on each and every track.  Does not for good listening make.  

- Seventh Void - Heaven Is Gone -- Long-awaited side project from the guitarist and drummer of Type O Negative.  The title track is decent, but the rest is sub-generic stoner metal crap.

- The Soft Pack - The Muslims - The Meh-slims is more like it.  T'heh!

- Wavves - Wavvves -- Manages to be both overrated and underrated at the same time.  No, this guy isn't the Antichrist, and no, he's also not the "savior of lo-fi" or whatever.  He's just some spoiled SoCal kid with an incredible publicist and no perceptible talent. 

The 40 Best Albums of 2008

    I've been sittin' on this bad boy for a week and a half, so even though there's at least 5 albums that I meant to listen to which will tragically go unheard, it's time to get on my horse up in this piece.  Listening-wise, I'm a hundred-plus albums into 2008 and hooooo mama am I ready to flip the calendar into '09.

    You may or may not notice that this list lacks many staples of this year's Top Albums lists that you'll find elsewhere, which is for the simple reason that I didn't bother buying 'em.  That stuff won't be on the list because it failed to impress during whatever brief shot I gave it, be it SNL performance (Vampire Weekend), radio session (MGMT), live set (High Places), or the band's previous work, of which I'm the only person I know who doesn't like it (TV on the Radio).  As for the rest of the list, I'm still working on finishing up reviews for all of the other albums I heard in '08, but who the fuck knows when I'll get around to posting that one.  

    For this list, all the usual rules apply: these are all albums which I personally bought, so by actually spending a shitload of money on recorded music instead of stealing it like the rest of you deadbeats, I'm hopefully digging myself out from under a decade-and-a-half of karmic debt, slowly but surely.  (That's how it works, right?)  Also, reissues are not permitted, which is why you won't find the Bosco deal on here, or the Dennis Wilson joint.  But otherwise anything else is permitted: EPs, compilations, live albums, you name it.  In the name of RAWK, let's have at it, shall we?

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1.) Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull -- I liked Earth's previous incarnation as doomy dronesters, but The Bees' brand of repetitive, dreamy twang totally smokes anything else of theirs that I've heard.  Make no mistake, though: this is not good driving music, nor is it much good for drinkin'.  (Or, presumably, drinking and driving, although I haven't tested that one out.)  And no, this album does not rock.  But what it does manage to do -- unconditionally soothe, that is -- is so welcome that I'll be relying on this album as a stress reliever for a very, very long time.  No joke, sidle on up next to this one and you'll find yourself thinking someone replaced your Folgers Crystals with straight up smack.

2.) The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust -- By opening this album with "Aly Walk With Me," the longest and most distortion-heavy song in their catalog, the Danish twosome draws a line in the sand: if you don't absolutely love The Raveonettes by this point, then you never will.  And by returning to the template put forth on 2003's excellent Chain Gang of Love, Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo have once again hit upon a winning combination: perfect melodies, plenty of Psychocandy-esque fuzz, near-telepathic harmonies, and their own should-be-patented dirty/sexy aesthetic.  Although Lust Lust Lust largely shies away from the genre-hopping of 2005's Pretty in Black, this year's four (count 'em, four) other Raveonettes releases (and a solo album) manage to provide Wagner with an outlet for his more experimental side(s).  Song of the Year candidates: "Dead Sound" (#4), "Hallucinations" (#13), "Aly, Walk With Me (#15).  "Blush," "You Want the Candy" and "Blitzed" are also great.

3.) The Magnetic Fields - Distortion -- Like usual, Stephin Merritt tosses out a whole mess of poppy goodness, yielding several unmistakeable gems in the process.  Unlike past works, however, each of Distortion's 3-minute-or-so nuggets is swathed in a haze of distortion worthy of the best Jesus and Mary Chain (or Raveonettes, for that matter) records.  Yes, there's a few bummers on here, but if you wield your skip button right, you're in for quite a treat.  Song of the Year candidates: "California Girls" (#6), "The Nun's Litany" (#12), "Drive on Driver" (#17), "I'll Dream Alone" (#58).  I also like "Three-Way," "Zombie Boy," and "Courtesans" quite a bit.

4.) Metallica - Death Magnetic -- Replacing baby-eater/Nazi/child pornographer/gift-giver Bob Rock at the boards, superultramegaproducer Rick Rubin famously challenged Metallica to "write the second half of Master of Puppets."  Yeah, that wasn't going to happen, but what they wound up with mirrors ...And Justice For All, and almost eerily so: there's an opening song which sounds a lot like "Blackened," legit Metalli-classic at track 4 ("The Day That Never Comes"), a 9+ minute kickass instrumental and a relatively brief shot of molten fury to close the album.  Now, to be sure, some remnants of Metallica's "lost period" (a/k/a the last two decades) remain, notably the cringetastic "Chicken Soup for the Aging Metalhead Soul"-style self-help lyrics.  But before 2008, had I been asked which staple of my teenage years would seemingly against all odds roar back into relevance, I probably would have chosen Guns N' Roses, based on their track record of "practically nothing" over the last 17 years vs. Metallica's track record of "a lot of crappy music since Justice."  But boy, would I have been wrong.  Song of the Year candidates: "The Day That Never Comes" (#7) and "That Was Just Your Life" (#14).  But they're all pretty good except "Judas Kiss."

5.) Times New Viking - Stay Awake EP -- These arty Ohioan lo-fi devotees have long professed their admiration for Guided by Voices, and this EP is their best approximation of "classic" period GbV's awesome melodicism.  Short and sweet, without a duffer in the bunch.  Song of the Year candidate: "Sick and Tyred" (#19), but fuckin' a, they're all money.

6.) Blood on the Wall - Liferz -- Immature, lo-fi, garagey, and as fun -- and welcome -- as free blow.  Sure, you'll find yourself playing the "sounds like..." game throughout this album, but c'mon, that's part of the fun: brother-sister duo Brad and Courtney Shanks make no attempt to disguise their unabashed Pavement/Sonic Youth/Pixies worship, and neither should you.  Song of the Year candidates: "Junkeee... Julieee..." (#23), "Sorry Sorry Sarah" (#37).

7.) Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust -- When describing this album, it's easy to get bogged down by discussing the most obvious, soundbyte-worthy qualities: there's a song sung in English; a coupl'a tunes which display a newfound jaunty positivity; a lack of the band's trademark bowed guitar sound; super lush orchestration.  But make no mistake, this is very much a Sigur Ros record, and probably the most uplifting record of the year.  Song of the Year candidate: "Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysingur" (#24)

8.) Tapes 'n Tapes - Walk It Off -- All year I was trying to think of a reason to dislike this other than Dave Fridmann's totally blown-out production, and, at last, I couldn't.  The songwriting is just too strong here, even if the mix is way, way too harsh.  Although there's nothing as subtly awesome as The Loon's "Manitoba," "Time of Songs" comes damn near close, and the rockin' songs (especially "Le Ruse," "The Dirty Dirty" and "Headshock") do, in fact, rock.  But buyer beware: turn down your subwoofer or you're going to need some new speakers (and maybe some new neighbors).  Song of the Year candidates: "Le Ruse" (#27), "The Dirty Dirty" (#40), and "Le Ruse" (#47), with "Headshock" just barely missing the cut.

9.) School of Seven Bells - Alpinisms -- Meticulously concieved without being heavy-handed, this breezy electropop masterpiece is based around the splendid vocal harmonies of the lovely Deheza twins (Alejandra and Claudia), layers of ooey-gooey synth, and former Secret Machines dude Ben Curtis' bend-but-don't-break peppy hip-hop beats.  In a fair universe, this fine album would yield several chart hits, but alas, the world is filled with assholes who have terrible taste in everything.  Song of the Year candidates: "Half Asleep" (#30), "Face to Face on High Places" (#54), and "My Cabal" should be up there somewhere, too.

10.) David Byrne and Brian Eno - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today -- Who'd'a thunk that: 1.) Byrne/Eno would regroup for a follow-up to Bush of Ghosts and 2.) the ensuing result would be so coherent, bordering on MOR and 3.) said album would feature several outstanding cuts.  (Well, I guess that last one is pretty reasonable.)  A very optimistic, affirming pop album.  Song of the Year candidates: "Everything That Happens Will Happen Today" (#16), "One Fine Day" (#55).  Everyone else seems to like "Strange Overtones" quite a bit, but I prefer "My Big Nurse" along with the other two.

11.) Goes Cube - Not What We Thought and Hutchinson EPs -- Few bands 'round these parts have had as much positive bandwidth devoted to them as Brooklyn's mighty Goes Cube.  Which makes sense: they mix incredibly heavy riffs, stunning chops and attitude straight out of a Dischord manifesto.  Face it, it's only a matter of time before the powers that be wise up and hand these guys a kickass record deal.  'Til then, get to know 'em while they're still playing the small rooms and putting out self-released EPs.  Song of the Year candidates: Goes Cube Song 54 > Goes Cube Song 50 medley (#22), and Goes Cube Song 57 (#31), although I'm also partial to Hutchinson's "Gravestones Like Chess Pieces."

12.) The Thermals - Live at the Echoplex -- If 2008 was the year of the "solid-if-unspectacular" album, this good-not-great live album's placement on the list is more indicative of a void in the Tuddd Archive: high-quality live Thermals (other than their Daytrotter session and Pitchfork.tv's awesome Don't Look Down mini-set) is apparently hard to come by.  Unfortunately, this appears to be a straight, unaltered 'board mix, meaning that the vocals are way too prevalent in the mix and the guitar too low, but Kathy Foster's all-meat-no-filler basslines thankfully come across loud and clear.  Song of the Year candidates: I disqualified live tracks from the Best Songs list, but this one's jampacked with all your favorite Thermals favorites.

13.) The Futureheads - This Is Not the World -- After these guys stunk up the joint with '06's downright putrid News and Tributes, fans had reason to think The Futureheads had completely jumped the shark.  Fortunately, This Is Not the World takes a step in the right direction towards re-establishing The Futureheads as postpunk juggernauts (sub-category: "spiky/angular/uber-energetic").  Joyous?  Fun?  Hells yeah, although the band would have done well to throw a couple of downtempo curveballs (think "Danger of the Water" or "Hounds of Love" from the debut album) into the mix, as well as relying a bit more on their awesome four-part harmony vocals.  Song of the Year candidates: "Walking Backwards" (#10), with "Think Tonight" and "The Beginning of the Twist" also as standouts.

14.) Russian Circles - Station -- I loved '06's Enter (that year's fourth-best record) because it married the flash-fingered virtuosity of thrash to the atmospherics of straight-up post-rock.  Like, imagine if somehow Stuart Braithwaite had wandered into a Puppets-era Metallica jam session.  (Fuck yeah!)  Although Station relies less on guitarist Mike Sullivan's incredible chops -- to the album's detriment, in my opinion -- songs like "Harper Lewis," the title cut, and especially "Verses" are undeniably beautiful melodies.  Song of the Year candidate: "Verses" (#9).

15.) Torche - Meanderthal -- Critics have been creaming their collective Levis over Torche's near-perfect blend of heaviness and pop sensibilities (I'm lovin' Earfarm's "Melvins-meets-what-the-Foo Fighters-should-sound-like" comparison), and it's no wonder: these guys are both riff-tastic and hooky at the same time.  Great, great listen, and probably my favorite album to make multiple appearance during setbreaks at live shows in '08.  Song of the Year candidates: "Across the Shields" (#3), "Without a Sound" (#66).

16.) Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era Continued -- Aaaah, fudgesicles.  I'm conflicted about where to rank this album, and for many reasons.  First off, Deerhunter are absolutely one of my favoritest bands (I've seen 'em live six times this year).  I ranked Cryptograms #3 on last year's Best Of Albums list.  When it comes to Microcastle proper, the first few tracks and last several tracks are better than anything anybody else has done this year, although the album's middle proves mushy.  What's more, it took me at least 50 listens before I figured out that Cryptograms was totally fucking awesome, and Weird Era definitely has similarly impenetrable-at-first qualities.  And although I have to admit to a little bit of disappointment about the band's refusal to release a "definitive" version of "Calvary Scars" (the Microcastle version is too short; Weird Era's too long), allow me to remunerate for them with the following: Download 02 Calvary Scars .  (Yes, there's a little static during the first few seconds, but after that you're golden.)  Song of the Year candidates: "Nothing Ever Happened" is the year's best song, and "Twilight at Carbon Lake" (#8) and "Never Stops" (#26") aren't far behind.

17.) King Khan and the Shrines - The Supreme Genius of King Khan and the Shrines -- This one's a real crowd-pleaser.  If you're into Rhino's incredible Nuggets box set (and who isn't), then this album is for you.  Imagine top-notch garage-psych married to throat-shredding classic soul and you've got a pretty good idea as to what this one sounds like.  In an informal polling of "People That Have Visited Me At My Apartment or Ridden Shotgun in My Car 2008", this album easily comes out on top.

18.) Krallice - Krallice -- To me this album sounds like a cross between a nuclear holocaust and vigorous, relentless genital mutilation. 

19.) Portishead - Third -- After over a decade of dormancy, Portishead manage to break new ground on this newest long-player, instead of simply conjuring nostalgia by resting on their trip-hop laurels.  As original, inscrutable and downright creepy as ever, Third incorporates the best elements of "old" Portishead by relying on painstaking production and harrowing vocal performances, while still sounding nothing like their previous work.  Song of the Year candidates: "The Rip" (#18) and "Silence" (#57). 

20.) Times New Viking - Rip It Off -- If there's a theme to the top portion of this list, it would have to be "I like albums that are filled with distorted pop songs."  Seriously, look above: numbers 2, 3, 5, 8 and 16 all line up neatly under that description.  Listening to this album evokes similar feelings to those first few glorious listens of Alien Lanes or Bee Thousand, with the pedal firmly to the metal in an immediate, melodic vein.  Only unlike GbV, who always seemed to succeed in spite of their primitive recording techniques, Times New Viking's genius is in making the hiss and distortion into an actual instrument in and of itself.  (I'm aware that last sentence makes little-to-no sense, but fuck it.)  Song of the Year candidates: "Teen Drama" (#39).  "The Wait" and "My Head" both also rock. 

21.) Boris - Smile -- A good album, but one gets the feeling Boris could shit something like this out in their sleep (to coin a phrase).  You have breakneck barn burners in the vein of Pink's "Woman on the Screen," slower numbers, and the compulsory lengthy slab of drone that closes the record -- all pretty standard, really.  The new ground that's broken can be found in the hypnotically dubby "My Neighbor Satan," which evokes the greatness of Bill Laswell's Charged project.  Come to think of it, I'd love to hear a Laswell/Boris collab.  Southern Lord, make it happen!  Song of the Year candidate: "My Neighbor Satan" (#34)

22.) Viking Skull - Doom, Gloom, Heartache and Whiskey -- Man, I loves me some good ol' fashioned meat-n-taters stoner metal, which begs the question why I don't randomly check out more music similar to this.  A New Year's resolution for '09 perhaps?  Anyway, these guys' sound falls somewhere around Bad Wizard's whiskey-n-meth party rock and more traditional Sabbath-worship.  (A winning combo.)  And you have to root for any band that proclaims in song their desire to "drinky-drinky-drink, drink-drink-drink, drink 'till we shit our pants."  Song of the Year candidate: The title track is friggin' great, although I hadn't heard it in time for the Best Songs list.

23.) White Denim - Exposion -- Although this album isn't able to capture the raving lunacy of their live show, it's still a tasty collection of jams.  Sonically these guys represent a nice amalgam of Creedence, Allmans, Nuggets, scrappy soul outfits, and your favorite garage bands.  Song of the Year candidate: Transparency (#60)

24.) Jay Reatard - Matador Singles '08 -- As a fan of much of the esteemed Mr. Reatard's music, this is undoubtedly his most cohesive collection yet, which is odd when considering that its material is drawn from the 7" sides that comprised his Matador singles series.  To be sure, he's still DIY, just with a little more variety as to the instrumentation.  The world eagerly awaits his next offering, set for release in the early months of '09.

25.) Early Man - Beware the Circling Fin EP -- These guys are another band with a highly anticipated upcoming '09 release on tap, and this EP serves admirably as a tide-you-over placeholder until the full-length is released.  These guys do the Judas Priest/Kill 'Em All thing better than anyone.  Song of the Year candidate: Sinking the Blade (#56).

26.) Melvins - Nude With Boots -- Adding the members of Big Business to their roster hasn't changed the way The Melvins operate, and why should it -- anyone who's ever heard/seen Big Business immediately notices the sonic debt they owe to Buzz Osbourne and Dale Crover.  Similar to previous releases, Nude With Boots has plenty of sludge, ranging between deceptively poppy numbers and slower doomy shit.  Song of the Year candidate: "Billy Fish" (#52).

27.) Chairlift - Does You Inspire You -- Loved these guys' live show both times I saw 'em with Caroline Polachek's impeccable vocals framed poifectly by the sparse instrumentation provided by her bandmates.  The album plays out similarly, with some majorly diverse pure pop styles on display.  From Erasure's bubbly electropop to Annie Lennox' confident songcraft, even to grandeur worthy of The Cure.  Song of the Year candidates: "Evident Utensil" (#2), "Bruises" #61.

28.) The Kills - Midnight Boom -- I felt that The Kills perfected their dark, beat punk/no wave dramas on No Wow, so the slightly gussied-up, gimmicky feel of singles "URA Fever" and "Cheap and Cheerful" is a bit disappointing.   Midnight Boom was supposedly heavily influenced by schoolyard chants and cadences, which succeeds most notably on the standouts "Hook and Line" and "Sour Cherry" but comes off as grating on cuts like "Alphabet Pony."  Also notable is the successful foray into Luscious Jacksonish territory with the uberchill "Black Balloon."  Uneven record but still very listenable and catchy throughout.  Song of the Year candidate: "Hook and Line" (#21).

29.) The Big Sleep - Sleep Forever -- Some nice instrumentals, some great '90s-ish alt-rock, and some more reflective pieces.  Nothing groundbreaking, but still worthy of many, many listens.  Song of the Year candidate: "Pinkies" (#50).

30.) Thalia Zedek Band - Liars and Prayers - Just as Johnny Cash's raspy howl said as much as his lyrics, as do Thalia Zedek's leathery vocal cords at this stage in her career.  Many gloomy artists seem to revel in a "light at the end of the tunnel" theory of songwriting, but Zedek largely eschews any thoughts of redemption in most of her songs, much to her credit.  Song of the Year candidate: "Lower Allston" (#51).

31.) Jay Reatard - Singles 06-07 -- In the Red Records helpfully collects many of Reatard's out-of-print vinyl sides on this one, including alternate versions of several Blood Visions tracks.  Good shit.  Song of the Year candidate:  "Another Person" (#58).

32.) Cheap Time - Cheap Time -- These guys sound like Richard Hell fronting the Heartbreakers.  Or Johnny Thunders fronting the Voidoids.  Or both.  Or something.  Song of the Year candidate: "Too Late" (#41)

33.) Witch - Paralyzed -- I loved Witch's debut record (#6 on 2006's Best of Albums list) and although this one doesn't have anything as immediately awesome like "Seer" or "Rip Van Winkle," it manages to de-emphasize the Claypoolish vocals, which is an improvement.  By and large, the songs are leaner and quicker paced, adding a Motorheadish to their rock solid Sabbath template.  Good shit.  Song of the Year candidate: "Eye" (#73)

34.) Young Knives - Superabundance -- Among their British post-punk soundalike counterparts, these guys are better than Kaiser Chiefs but worse than The Futureheads.  So they're pretty good.  Song of the Year candidate: "Turn Tail" (#36).

35.) Boat - Topps EP -- I liked their last full length (perhaps a bit underrated at #35 on last year's list), and their live show also hit home.  This l'il 4-song morsel continues in the vein of adorable scrappiness, but you'd be a fool to deny these melodies.  A fool I say!!  Song of the Year candidate: "Four Beds for Boat" (#72) made the list, and I fucked up majorly leaving "Bee Buzz" off.

36.) Death Vessel - Nothing Is Precious Enough for Us -- There's plenty about Joel Thibodeau that sets him apart from other contemporary "neo-trad" folk artists.  First, the gender-bending vocals and flawless upper register make for a pleasant listening experience.  And second, the songwriting is just so much better than that of Devendra and other freakfolkies as to render them kinda irrelevant.  Solid follow up to '05's Stay Close, which I also liked quite a bit.  Song of the Year candidates: "Block My Eye" (#44), "Bruno's Torso" (#64).

37.) Mogwai - Batcat EP -- This teaser EP seemed to bode well for those (all four of us) that dug the direction the band took on '06's Mr. Beast with the title track reminiscent of Beast's Pelican-esque "Glasgow Mega-Snake."  Unfortunately the Hawk Is Howling album proved to be boringly mediocre, with "Batcat" the belle of the ball.  Song of the Year candidate: "Batcat" (#35)

38.) Los Straitjackets - Los Straitjackets in Concert -- I love Los Straitjackets, especially in the live setting, but this album would have benefited from being seriously edited down, to, say, maybe 45 minutes or so.  Take the classics ("Casbah," "State Fair," "University Blvd." "Pacifica," etc.) and throw on a bunch of the theme song covers (Batman, Titanic, Munsters, Magnificent Seven, Midnight Cowboy) and you'd have a fine set of songs.  As with most live experiences, when you can't actually be there, less is usually more.

39.) Sian Alice Group - 59'59 -- This music traverses the same territory as the live show: simple and pretty ("As the Morning Light"), stuff a bit darker ("Way Down to Heaven"), tracks that sound kind of like Mogwai ("Kirilov") and stuff that wouldn't sound out of place on the new Portishead album ("Contours").  Overall, this album shows off a style that's vaguely gothy post rock, and the vocals are stunning.  Is there some filler?  Sure, and they probably should have cut the album down to match their usual 40-45 minute set length, but for the most part I'm diggin' it.

40.) Scars on Broadway - Scars on Broadway -- Well, it's clear from comparing this (effectively Daron Malakian's solo debut) to last year's Elect the Dead (by System of a Down vocalist Serj Tankian) who contributed what to System: Malakian the tight, blatantly poppy metal riffing, apocalyptic lyrics and the bathroom humor; Tankian the ranting homeless guy-style sloganeering ("PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION!"), the apocalyptic lyrics and the bathroom humor.  Although this is probably too slickly produced, it never approaches anything like Linkin Park or whatever, so that's good.  Song of the Year candidates: "World Long Gone" (#38), "They Say" (#46)

The 75 Best Songs of 2008

   

    Yes, this is just like thousands of other crappy blog lists that you'll come across, with one wrinkle: in honor of the spirit of giving/sharing that accompanies the holiday season (and because sharing is caring, duh) I figured I'd give a little something back to those of you who happen to traipse through this here Muddd, in the form of primo tunage.  However, since I'm not too keen on giving away copyrighted stuff, I've tried to include kickass high quality *live* bootlegged versions of as many songs on the below list as I could find.  I say "tried" because a few of these are pretty poor quality-wise, and because (obviously) I wasn't able to track down live versions of anywhere near every song.  (Anyone have any Cheap Time bootlegs?  How about Cheeseburger?  Blood on the Wall?  Didn't think so.)

    That being said, the way in which this list was executed was pretty fucking retarded, since I'm just now realizing shit like I forgot to put any King Khan on here, among other notable omissions.  The only real rule is that I'm not including tracks from live albums which already have been put out on albums, otherwise this list would be full of Thermals and Los Straitjackets songs.  Again, since I'm already noticing my own errors on the list ("Go for the Exit" should be way higher, for one), I'll probably use the comments section to amend errors.  Actually, after having spent damn near a full day on this, it's more likely that I'll never actually look at this list again. 

    Nonetheless, blah blah blah, on with the list.  To avoid confusion, the arrow thingies ------> signify a downloadable mp3, and pretty much any other link goes to somewhere on YouTube.  Don't say I never did nuthin' for ya.

------------

1.) "Nothing Ever Happened" by Deerhunter    ------>Download 06 Nothing Ever Happened

Notes: I'm looking to poach as little as possible here... NYC taper has a couple good recordings from Deerhunter shows this year here and here, both of which I attended.  The best live version of this song I've ever seen/heard is on Youtube here, from Baeble music's capture of the song of August's McCarren Park show (with soundboard audio!) which I also went to. 

2.) "Evident Utensil" by Chairlift                     ------>Download Chairlift 2008-11-19 

Notes: This download is actually a 12-minute long mp2 of Chairlift's November BBC session, and as such it's comprised of the following tracks: 1- introduction/interview 2- Bruises 3- interview 4- Evident Utensil 5- closing comments.  Also, here's a live video from the After the Jump Festival, which I actually attended, skipping Chairlift's set because I had no idea who they were at the time.  Boooo me. 

3.) "Across the Shields" by Torche                   ------>Download 07 Across the Shields 

Notes: I'm aware that this MP3 doesn't sound that great, but high quality Torche boots are apparently tough to come by; I have a couple other live versions of this song with this one being the least awful.  Watch this for the best Youtube has to offer for this song.

4.) "Dead Sound" by The Raveonettes            ------>Download 02 Dead Sound 

Notes: This is the best of the six live versions that are currently littering Tuddd Archives... a fantastic recording right here.  Here's the music video (prob'ly the best music video I've seen all year), and here's video of a sweet-ass acoustic version.

5.) "Heart of Chambers" by Beach House

Notes: Yeah, no luck on finding live audio versions of this anywhere, but here's the music video.

6.) "California Girls" by The Magnetic Fields    ----->Download 1-02 California Girls

Notes: Drastically different arrangement than the feedback-swathed album version.  More of a chamber pop thing going on here, which is nice, and here's a video version of the same performance the download is from.

7.) "The Day That Never Comes" by Metallica    ------> yeah, not gonna happen.

I actually have an excellent live version of this song but I'm not about to unleash Metallica's phalanx of lawyers upon myself.  Here's an oddly truncated live version from Jools Holland and here's the actual music video.

8.) "Twilight at Carbon Lake" by Deerhunter     ------>Download 12 Twilight at Carbon Lake

Notes:This version is okay, but (again) head here for a superior version captured by NYC taper.  Live video: check.

9.) "Verses" by Russian Circles

Notes: I got nuthin' mp3-wise.  Here's a good version from Youtube though.

10.) "Walking Backwards" by The Futureheads

Notes: Again, a big fat fucking donut.  Here's the puppet-infested music video, although I'll warn you that it's a music video which is presented in the style of "the making of the music video," which is annoying and gay. 

11.) "For Malena" by Marc Ribot's Ceramic Dog

Notes: Yeah, nada.  Who knows if this song has ever even been performed live.

12.) "The Nun's Litany" by The Magnetic Fields        ------>Download 2-08 The Nun's Litany

Notes: Just as "California Girls" above, this "Disortion" nugget gets the chamber-pop treatment.  Shirley Simms handles vocals on the album version, but live Stephin Merritt takes the reins.  Here's an interview/solo performance (with bouzouki!) starring Merritt.

13.) "Hallucinations" by The Raveonettes        ------>Download 01 intro _ Hallucinations 

Notes: Has a brief KCRW tag at the beginning, but fuck yeah it's a great version.  This is an awesome pro-shot live video of the song.

14.) "That Was Just Your Life" by Metallica   

Notes: See #7 above.  Same story here.  This is an excellent live version, complete with creepy/lame staged "backstage all access" retardedness.  To avoid the poopy parts, skip to about 3 minutes in.

15.) "Aly Walk With Me" by The Raveonettes    ------>Download 06 Aly, Walk With Me 

Notes: Man, KCRW sure knows how to mix the Raveonettes, which is more than I can say for some music venue soundguys.  (Terminal 5, I'm looking at you.) Live/acoustic version here, and Sune n' Sharin discuss the song (rather inanely) here.

16.) "Everything That Happens Will Happen Today" by David Byrne and Brian Eno ------>Download 02 Everything That Happens Will Happ

Notes: Anyone know why he didn't do a show in NYC on the last tour?  Anybody?!

17.) "Drive On Driver" by The Magnetic Fields     ------>Download 2-07 Drive On, Driver

Notes: Third of four songs on this list from Distortion.  Here's a live video from Oslo.

18.) "The Rip" by Portishead                            ------>Download 02

Notes: Great song.  Radiohead digs it, too. 

19.) "Sick and Tyred" by Times New Viking       

Notes: Nothing to offer, although this implies that there's a forthcoming music video.  Huzzah.

20.) "Highly Suspicious" by My Morning Jacket    ------>Download 2-10 Highly Suspicious

Notes: I was tempted to use the version from their June show at Radio City (which I attended), or the one from their legendary Bonnaroo set (which I didn't), but this version just sounds better.  This is the video of the performance from Bonnaroo.

21.) "Hook and Line" by The Kills                     ----->Download 03 Hook and Line

Notes: Rare acoustic version.  I think I remembered reading somewhere that this was the first time they had performed this song ever, which explains the brief confusion at the beginning.  Here's a live video from Glasgow, missing the first few seconds of the song, but shot in black and white from pretty much underneath VV. 

22.) "Goes Cube Song 54" > "Goes Cube Song 50" by (you guessed it) Goes Cube

Notes: Can't find anything relevant videowise.

23.) "Junkee.... Julieeee" by Blood on the Wall

Notes: Watch this.

24.) "Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysingur" by Sigur Ros        ------>Download 06 Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur

Notes: Flat-out frickin' adorable.  Here's the "official video" and here's a live video of the song from LA.

25.) "The Crippled Jazzer" by Marnie Stern

Notes: Oddly enough, I couldn't find anything for this song, but check below for the "Transformer" video.

26.) "Never Stops" by Deerhunter                    ------>Download 02 Never Stops

Notes: Once again, allow me to direct you towards the NYCTaper website for a superior version.  Live video: I was at this show.

27.) "Time of Songs" by Tapes 'n Tapes

Notes: I couldn't find anything, although I'm starting to wonder why I didn't put "Headshock" on this list somewhere.

28.) "Ain't Got Nothin' (To Go Wrong)" by Dead Meadow    ------>Download 02 Ain't Got Nothing (To Go Wrong)

Notes: Live video here.

29.) "Coming Down the Stairs" by Endless Boogie

Notes: I got nothin'.

30.) "Half Asleep" by School of Seven Bells                ------>Download 06 Half Asleep

Notes: Best I could find on the video front was this partial. 

31.) "Goes Cube Song 57" by Goes Cube                        ------>Download Goes Cube - Song 57

Notes: Here's a version of this song from a show I was actually at.  Warning: volume is super low on this one.

32.) "Chemtrails" by Beck                                           

Notes: This guy has a live mp3 available, and here's a live video.

33.) "Jellybean" by Cheeseburger                                ------>Download Cheeseburger - Jellybean 

Notes: That's from the a sampler which was put out to promote Cheeseburger's Vice/Colt 45 tour.  Videos from that tour's stop at Glasslands are available here; look closely enough and you'll notice me drunkenly grabbing for the mic throughout the set.  Cringe.

34.) "My Neighbor Satan" by Boris                            ------>Download 1-07 My Neighbor Satan pt. 1

Notes: This one was split into 2 halves, so the second half is here: ------>Download 1-08 My Neighbor Satan pt. 2 _ intro

35.) "Batcat" by Mogwai                                               ------>Download Mogwai2008-09-13t14_vbr

Notes: Head over to Archive.org for way too much live Mogwai.  Live footage here; music video here.

36.) "Turn Tail" by Young Knives                                ------>Download Young Knives 2008-08-26

Notes: Just like the entry for Chairlift above, this one is an mp2 from a BBC session.  This one's a little longer, lasting about 17 minutes.  The tracklisting: 1- intro/interview 2- Dyed in the Wool 3- interview 4- Turn Tail 5- closing comments.  High quality/pro-shot live footage here.  Official video here.

37.) "Sorry Sorry Sarah" by Blood on the Wall

Notes: Indeed, the cupboard is bare on this one, so y'know what?  Here's a video of another awesome song of theirs with a chick's name in the title.

38.) "World Long Gone" by Scars on Broadway

Notes: Haven't seen any live audio circulating from Daron Malakian's post-SOAD band, but here's a live video and here's the actual (censored) big-budget music video for the song.

39.) "Teen Drama" by Times New Viking                    ------>Download 05 Track 05

Notes: For your viewing pleasure, live video.

40.) "The Dirty Dirty" by Tapes 'n Tapes

Notes: I've seen these guys twice and both times there's been an absolutely awful sound mix, which fortunately isn't the case here.

41.) "Too Late" by Cheap Time

Notes: "Too Late" is the first song on this video.

42.) "I Hate Nobody" by Oxford Collapse

Notes: Zero-zip-zilch-no-nada-none-nothing.

43.) "Young and Beautiful" by The Raveonettes

Notes: I don't think they've played this song live yet, so I think I'll go against the constraining motif of this list and cheat a little. 

44.) "Block My Eye" by Death Vessel

Notes: The well appears to be dry.

45.) "I Got Mine" by The Black Keys                        ------>Download 03

Notes: Live on Letterman!

46.) "They Say" by Scars on Broadway

Notes: Sweet live version or official music video version.

47.) "Le Ruse" by Tapes 'n Tapes

Notes: Couldn't find anything, not that I looked all that hard.

48.) "The Emerald Snow of Sleep" by Danava

Notes: I have a few boots from their '08 tour, but they didn't play this song on any of 'em.  Maybe it's tough to reproduce the synth loops live?  Who the fuck knows.

49.) "Lost Coastlines" by Okkervil River                ------>Download 10 Lost Coastlines

Notes: Video of the first time they ever played this live.  Also, the music video.  YAY!!!

50.) "Pinkies" by The Big Sleep

Notes: Here's a cool unplugged version of the song.

51.) "Lower Allston" by Thalia Zedek Band

Notes: Never seen Thalia Zedek/Come boots anywhere. 

52.) "Billy Fish" by The Melvins                        ------>Download 04 Billy Fish [9_14_08 Netherlands]

Notes: Live video.

53.) "Shiller" by Ratatat

Notes: Live video right here.

54.) "Face to Face on High Places" by School of Seven Bells

Notes: Live video.  Probly their most MBV-influenced song.

55.) "One Fine Day" by David Byrne and Brian Eno        ------>Download 01 One Fine Day [11_8_08 Upper Darby

Notes: Here's a video of the Young at Heart chorus backing up DB.  Friggin' beautiful.

56.) "Sinking the Blade" by Early Man

Notes: I was totally expecting not to be able to post anthing for this song, so I was pleased to find this.

57.) "Silence" by Portishead

Notes: I have a live version of this badboy but it's ruined by static.  This isn't a bad consolation prize, though.

58.) "Another Person" by Jay Reatard

Notes: I just looked at the clock, and apparently I've been working on this useless list for 7 straight hours, stopping only to make a sandwich.  Starting to hate myself. 

59.) "I'll Dream Alone" by The Magnetic Fields

Notes: Yeah, I got nothing.

60.) "Transparency" by White Denim

Notes: Welcome to donut city, population Tuddd.

61.) "Bruises" by Chairlift

Notes: See above (#2 on the list specifically) for a download that includes this song.

62.) "Spider Hole" aka "Vacant Moan" by O'Death        ------>Download 03 Spider Home

Notes: The song comes named two different ways: "Spider Hole" on the single, and "Vacant Moan" on the record.  Of the two I prefer the rougher single version.

63.) "Buriedfed" by Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson

Notes: Music video here.  Live footage here.  My life in here.

64.) "Bruno's Torso" by Death Vessel

Notes: jklfasdjklsdfjakljasdlksdjaklajfklsdjfklajsdklafjsdklafjsdklajfsdklajflas.

65.) "Transformer" by Marnie Stern

Notes: Music video here.

66.) "Without a Sound" by Torche

Notes: See #64.

67.) "Crooked Head" by Fucked Up

Notes: Daytrotter has a great live version of this song, along with others, here.  And here's live footage of this song from their marathon 12 hour show in NYC.

68.) "Sweet Love for Planet Earth" by Fuck Buttons    ------>Download 05 Sweet Love for Planet Earth [2_12

Notes: Live video.

69.) "We're Gonna Rise" by The Breeders                    ------>Download 10 We're Gonna Rise

Notes: Yes! We have no videos.  We have no videos today!

70.) "Shempi" by Ratatat

Notes: Live video here.

71.) "Shea Stadium" by Marnie Stern

Notes: Yeah, right.

72.) "Four Beds for Boat" by BOAT

Notes: Scrappy, scrappy, scrappy!

73.) "Eye" by Witch

Notes: I found nothing, but face it, "Witch Eye" is pretty much search engine-proof.

74.) "Go for the Exit" by Boston Spaceships                ------>Download 2-09 Go for the Exit

Notes: Couldn't find anything video-wise.

75.) "American Names" by Sebastien Grainger

Notes: Take it.  Just take it already!

The Best Albums of 2008 (so far) [updated yet again]

   

    I've been sitting on this one for nearly a full month, and by this point it's damn well time to get this bastard updated (yet again) before I have a true behemoth on my hands.

    First off, the rules remain the same as on previous lists, meaning that with the exception of reissues and singles, everything's game: regular albums, compilations, best-ofs, you name it.  I've heard every one of these albums the whole way through AT LEAST a few times each.  And yes, I've personally purchased every album on this list: none of that Limewire bullshit for me.  There's still a veritable cum-dumpster full of albums that will be out in the coming months, so it's safe to say this list will scarcely resemble the one I wind up putting out somewhere around Christmas '08.  I'll be putting out a list including all the remaining '08 "Eagerly Anticipated"s that I can think of sometime reasonably soon.

    Blah blah blah, shut the hell up, get to the list.  Okay.  But first, honorable mentions to a couple of album-less singles: Chairlift's sugary sweet "Evident Utensil" and O'Death's galloping "Spider Home."  Fine songs, both.

----------

1.) Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull -- In many ways, this is the most remarkable album in my entire collection: never in my life have I ever encountered anything -- powders, pills and potions included -- that manages to totally and unconditionally soothe, regardless of the circumstances.  Seriously.  Neighborhood kids making a racket?  No worries.  Family members driving you up the fucking wall?  Not a problem.  Car alarms starting to really, really piss you off?  BRING THAT SHIT. 

I liked Earth's previous incarnation as doomy dronesters, but The Bees' brand of repetitive, dreamy twang totally smokes anything else of theirs that I've heard.  Make no mistake, though: this is not good driving music, nor is it much good for drinkin'.  (Or, presumably, drinking and driving, although I haven't tested that one out.)  And no, this album does not rock.  But what it does manage to do is so welcome that I'll be relying on this album for a very, very long time.  No joke, sidle on up next to this one and you'll find yourself thinking someone replaced your Folger's Crystals with straight up smack. 

2.) The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust -- By reverting to the template put forth on 2003's excellent Chain Gang of Love, Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo have once again hit upon a winning combination: perfect melodies, thrifty songwriting, plenty of Jesus and Mary Chain fuzz, near-telepathic harmonies, and their own should-be-patented dirty/sexy aesthetic.  Song of the Year candidates: "Dead Sound," "Aly Walk With Me," "Hallucinations."

3.) The Magnetic Fields - Distortion -- Just as on 1999's landmark 69 Love Songs, Stephin Merritt tosses out a whole mess of poppy goodness, yielding several unmistakable gems in the process.  Unlike 69 Love Songs, however, each of Distortion's 3-minute-or-so nuggets are fittingly swathed in a haze of distortion worthy of the finest Jesus and Mary Chain (or Raveonettes) records.  A nice collection of songs, even if -- only occasionally, mind you -- you find yourself tempted to hit the skip button for a couple numbers ("Please Stop Dancing" and "Mr. Mistletoe," notably). Song of the Year candidates: "Drive on Driver," "California Girls," "The Nun's Litany" and "I'll Dream Alone."

4.) Blood on the Wall - Liferz -- Immature, lo-fi, garagey, and as fun -- and welcome -- as free blow.  Sure, you'll find yourself playing the "sounds like..." game throughout this album, but c'mon, that's part of the fun: brother-sister duo Brad and Courtney Shanks make no attempt to disguise their Sonic Youth/Pixies worship.  For the record, according to iTunes this is my most listened-to album of '08.  Yay!  Song of the Year candidates: "Junkeee... Julieee," "Sorry Sorry Sarah."

5.) Tapes N' Tapes - Walk It Off -- In what has to be easily the most puzzling hatchet job of the year, famed producer Dave Fridmann overloads these songs to near-unlistenable levels, complete with fartin' bass (check out the first chorus of "Headshock," jeez Louise).  It's as though the band sought to erase any memory of the glowing Pavement/Pixies comparisons brought on by their excellent debut, The Loon, and by adding little other than sheer volume, the production manages to completely overwhelm any subtleties these songs could have ever had (there's nothing here as hauntingly understated and beautiful as The Loon's "Manitoba," for example).  It's a testament to the strength of the material that several of the songs manage to shine through Fridmann's attempt at making the record sound like a low-bitrate mp3.  I for one probably would have preferred hearing the demos.  Song of the Year candidates: "Le Ruse," "Time of Songs," "The Dirty Dirty."

6.) Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust -- Much has been made of the band ditching their trademark bowed-guitar sound, but (thankfully) the grandiose, uplifting qualities of Sigur Ros' music remain.  When describing this album, it's easy to get bogged down by discussing the most obvious, soundbyte-worthy qualities: there's a song sung in English ("All Alright"), a couple tunes display a newfound jauntiness (most evident on album opener "Gobbledigook"), and the lush orchestration, but make no mistake, this is very much a Sigur Ros record, and a fine one at that.  Song of the Year candidates: Lots of good ones, with the flat-out adorable "Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysingur" leading the pack thus far for me.

7.) The Futureheads - This Is Not the World -- After these guys stunk up the joint with '06's downright putrid News and Tributes, fans had reason to think The Futureheads had completely jumped the shark, but This Is Not the World re-establishes them as juggernauts in the spiky/angular/uber-energetic category of post-punk.  Joyous?  Fun?  Hells yeah, although the band would have done well to throw a couple of downtempo curveballs (think "Danger of the Water" or "Hounds of Love" from the debut album) into the mix, as well as relying a bit more on their awesome four-part harmony vocals.  Song of the Year candidate: "Walking Backwards," "The Beginning of the Twist."

8.) Times New Viking - Rip It Off -- What is it about Ohio lo-fi bands?  Not since GbV crawled out of the basement for good a little over a decade ago has a lo-fi band been as deserving of excessive critical praise as these guys.  In this interview, when asked "what was the tipping point that made you sign with Matador?"  Times New Viking guitarist Jared Phillips begins his answer by stating "Alien Lanes," which, without even reading any further, sums things up nicely.  And although the melodicism of Rip it Off doesn't necessarily approximate the awesomely schizophrenic kitchen sinkism of mid '90's GbV, the enthusiasm, immediacy and FTW/DIY style does.  Song of the Year candidates: "Teen Drama," "The Wait."

9.) Goes Cube - Not What You Thought EP -- Say no more.  This band is great, and it's only a matter of time before the powers that be wise up and hand Goes Cube a kickass record deal.  Go here to download a new/unreleased/totally asskicking track by these guys.  Song of the Year candidates: "Goes Cube Song 57," and the "Goes Cube Song 54" into "Goes Cube Song 50" medley.

10.) Torche - Meanderthal -- Critics have been creaming their collective Levis over Torche's near-perfect blend of heaviness and pop sensibilities, and it's no wonder: these guys are both riff-tastic and hooky at the same time.  Song of the Year candidate: "Across the Shields" is probably '08's best so far.

11.) Portishead - Third -- After over a decade of dormancy, Portishead manages to break new ground instead of resting on their trip-hop laurels.  As original, inscrutable and downright creepy as ever, Third incorporates the best of elements "old" Portishead by relying on painstaking production and harrowing vocal performances, while still sounding nothing like their previous work.  This one's really a "grower;" revealing more with every successive listen; I won't be shocked if Third manages to crawl up nearer the top of the list by year's end.  Song of the Year candidate: "The Rip."

12.) Boris - Smile -- It's tough not to compare subsequent Boris outings to their 2006 (or '05, depending on which part of the world you live in) masterpiece, Pink, so why fight it.  Like Pink, this album has a few straight-edge barn-burners, some meatier tracks and a lengthy noise suite to cap it all off, and there's nothing nearly as great as "Farewell."  This album is still a fine listen without seeming like it required much effort; I'm not sure whether that speaks well or poorly for the band.  The real gem here is in the hypnotically dubby "My Neighbor Satan," which evokes the greatness of Bill Laswell's Charged project.  Come to think of it, I'd love to hear a Laswell/Boris collab.  Make it happen, Southern Lord!  Song of the Year candidate: "My Neighbor Satan."

13.) Russian Circles - Station -- I loved '06's Enter (that year's fourth-best record) because it married the flash-fingered virtuosity of thrash to the atmospherics of straight-up post-rock.  Like, imagine if somehow Stuart Braithwaite had wandered into a Puppets-era Metallica jam session.  (Fuck yeah!)  Although Station relies less on guitarist Mike Sullivan's incredible chops -- to the album's detriment, in my opinion -- songs like "Harper Lewis" and especially "Verses" are undeniably beautiful melodies.  Song of the Year candidate: "Verses."

14.) The Big Sleep - Sleep Forever -- Some nice instrumentals, some great '90s-ish alt-rock, and some more reflective pieces.  Nothing groundbreaking, but still worthy of many, many listens.  Song of the Year candidate: "Pinkies."

15.) King Khan and the Shrines - The Supreme Genius of King Khan and the Shrines -- If you're into Rhino's incredible Nuggets box set (and who isn't), then this album is for you.  Imagine top-notch garage-psych married to throat-shredding classic soul worthy of James Brown himself and you've got a pretty good idea as to what this one sounds like.  Song of the Year candidate: "Crackin' Up," a Bo Diddley cover.

16.) Thalia Zedek Band - Liars and Prayers -- Remember when Rick Rubin's late-career recordings of Johnny Cash (notably the cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt") went to great lengths to establish the pain and world-weariness of the man's voice?  Liars and Prayers has that in spades, utilizing the band's most unique instrument -- Zedek's voice -- to great effect.  Musically and thematically, this album has much in common with previous Zedek outings although here it sounds as though she's been gargling with Dran-O in the intervening years since '04's stellar Trust Not Those in Whom Without a Touch of Madness.  Song of the Year candidates: "Body Memory" and "Lower Allston."

17.) Witch - Paralyzed -- I absofuckinglutely loved their debut (#6 on my 2006 Best Of Albums list) and although this one doesn't have anything as immediately awesome as "Seer" or "Rip Van Winkle" it still seriously rocks.  This time around, the songs are leaner and faster paced, adding a whiskey-n'-crank-tinged breath of Motorhead to the preexisting Sabbath/stoner template.

18.) The Kills - Midnight Boom -- I felt that The Kills perfected their dark, beat punk/no wave dramas on No Wow, so the slightly gussied-up, gimmicky feel of singles "URA Fever" and "Cheap and Cheerful" is a bit disappointing.   Midnight Boom was supposedly heavily influenced by schoolyard chants and cadences, which succeeds most notably on the standouts "Hook and Line" and "Sour Cherry" but comes off as grating on cuts like "Alphabet Pony."  Also notable is the successful foray into Luscious Jacksonish territory with the uberchill "Black Balloon."  Uneven record but still very listenable and catchy throughout.  Song of the Year candidate: "Hook and Line."

19.) Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson - Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson -- Not sure what to think of this one.  On the one hand, Robinson often manages to evoke greatness in his songs (Dylan, Petty, even Neil Young), but on the other I can't help but be a bit wary that I'm being duped by the whole confessional junkie angle, one to which I'm obviously susceptible (um, Please Kill Me is one of my favorite books).  Is this really sincere?  To quote Johnny Rotten, "ever get the feeling you've been cheated?"  Yeah, kinda.  Song of the Year candidate: "The Debtor."

20.) Cheap Time - Cheap Time -- These guys sound like Richard Hell fronting the Heartbreakers.  Or Johnny Thunders fronting the Voidoids.  Or both.  Or something.  Song of the Year candidate: "Too Late."

21.) Endless Boogie - Focus Level -- These guys have built up quite the cache of hipster cool in all the right ways.  They have friends in high places (Stephen Malkmus famously prodded them to open for him at Bowery in '01), cool jobs (Matador art department; professional record collector), they've put out a couple of long out-of-print releases on tiny labels, and uh, apparently they like to party.  What they've created is a record perfect for drinkin,' card-playin' and cigar smokin': no worries if ya hafta get up an' take a leak (or blow a rail), the songs will still be chooglin' away when you get back to the table.  Song of the Year candidate: "Coming Down the Stairs."

22.) Black Keys - Attack and Release -- See, I'm not such a big fan of garage bands consciously trying to clean up their sound, and this album is a perfect example of why.  When critics write about the Black Keys needing to "switch up their aesthetic" and that "things had gotten stagnant," I wonder why everyone just couldn't leave well enough alone.  Also, I'd like to humbly invite the Black Keys back into the garage, and Danger Mouse to stick to writing shitty music for retarded twelve year olds. 

23.) Jay Reatard - Singles '06-'07 -- Earlier this year, I traveled a total of four hours (two hours there, two back) to catch a Jay Reatard live set at Bowery which clocked in at a robust 23 total minutes.  Live, he's a revelation, but on record he falls into the "good not great" category.  I haven't heard any of his '08 singles (a few of which are supposed to be fucking awesome), and I'm definitely looking forward to the Matador compilation of said singles which is supposed to be out in a couple of months. 

24.) Los Straitjackets - Los Straitjackets in Concert -- I love Los Straitjackets, especially in the live setting, but this album would have benefited from being seriously edited down, to, say, maybe 45 minutes or so.  Take the classics ("Casbah," "State Fair," "University Blvd." "Pacifica," etc.) and throw on a bunch of the theme song covers (Batman, Titanic, Munsters, Magnificent Seven, Midnight Cowboy) and you'd have a fine set of songs.  As with most live experiences, when you can't actually be there, less is more. 

25.) Danava - Unonou -- These days it's stylish to reference Sir Lord Baltimore as an influence, but the first half of this album is likely as close as I've ever heard a modern band come to matching that band's primal greatness.  (Sadly, no singing drummer, though.)  Along the path of riff-heavy stoner metal, this is miles and miles superior to the Black Mountain record.  At times, these guys take the unusual step of basing songs around unconventional Dan Deaconish synth loops, which stand out gloriously amongst the usual crunchy sturm und drang.  And, at times, all of this somehow manages to work marvelously.  Unfortunately, the album fades a bit down the stretch, ending in a colossally embarrassing misstep with a godawful ripoff of Zeppelin's "Achilles Last Stand."  The first few songs are great, though.  Song of the Year candidate: "The Emerald Snow of Sleep."

26.) My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges -- My first run-through of this album had me pegging it as the year's worst, and although it does suffer dramatically in comparison to Z or Okonokos, it appears as my intial survey was a bit too harsh.  No, it's not awful, but it's not that great either.  And put me in the camp that actually likes the mildly controversial "Highly Suspicious" -- it's easily the catchiest song on the record.  Also, it's funny to imagine the frowny faces that had to be made in order to record the background vocals.  Song of the Year candidate: "Highly Suspicious."

27.) Dub Trio - Another Sound is Dying -- Chops, chops, chops, and more chops on these instrumentals, with very little actual "dub" present, unless you count a couple of brief, spacey interludes crammed between the breakneck mathy riffing.  At first one may think Biohazard or Helmet, but I'd say these guys sound most like the latter-day, unappreciated era of Faith No More, which is only fitting considering their place on Mike Patton's Ipecac label, their history as Patton's touring band for his Peeping Tom project, and Patton's turn on guest vocals on the creepy "No Flag."

28.) Howlin' Rain - Magnificent Fiend -- As I've written before, I really, really, really miss Comets on Fire, and it's a bit of an unfair disadvantage to any Howlin' Rain record, even a good one, that it is simply not Comets.  And it's not that Magnificent Fiend is a bad record; far from it, but in addition to being a bit too reserved for my tastes it lacks any truly *great* songs (like "Calling Lightning With a Scythe" and "The Hanging Heart" from the self-titled debut).  Nonetheless, there are some entertaining instrumental passages, not to mention stunning soloing on "Lord Have Mercy" and "Goodbye Ruby."

29.) Fuck Buttons - Street Horrrsing -- Another album that's improved the more I've listened.  Like much experimental/progressive/ambient, it's probably best listened to on the train home after an exhausting night of excess and debauchery. 

30.) Young Knives - Superabundance -- Among their British soundalike counterparts, these guys are better than Kaiser Chiefs but worse than The Futureheads.  So they're okay.  Their live show is highly recommended. 

31.) Crystal Antlers - Crystal Antlers EP -- I saw these guys live recently, and my thoughts on this EP are exactly the same as they were for the live show: with very few minor exceptions, these guys sound exactly like Comets on Fire, who are one of my favorite bands of all time.  Not that it makes any sense to award originality for its own sake, but it's still tough for me to unconditionally stamp the seal of approval on such a blatant ripoff, no matter how good it sounds.  I'll keep listening to this one, and hopefully eventually I'll figure out something non-derivative about it, in which case it will probably find itself twenty-or-so places higher on the year end list.  Hmmm. 

32.) Grails - Take Refuge in Clean Living -- I need more time with this one, but thus far I've really enjoyed this when I've been stoned, not so much when I haven't been stoned.  I bet these guys get that a lot, though.

33.) Beach House - Devotion -- Some very nice songwriting on this one, but the absolute lack of any dynamics at all makes it sound a bit to pharmied-out to be truly awesome.  Song of the Year candidate: "Heart of Chambers."

34.) The Breeders - Mountain Battles -- It's not an awful album, it's just wildly inconsistent.  Of course, I was hoping for some garagey GbV-ish pop like Last Splash, but alas that bird has flown.  There are a few charming songs ("Here No More," "Overglazed," "Bang On") but there's just too much filler.

35.) Meshugga - Obzen -- The label on the front of this one reads: "EXPERIENCE THE HEAVIEST, MOST DEVASTATING AUDIO ATTACK EVER CAPTURED IN 52 MINUTES AND 25 SECONDS" which pretty much sums things up.  The band's assault is relentless and unwavering, with arguably the most sophisticated bass drumming I've ever heard, but listening to the full thing in one sitting is (literally) a bit of a beating.  Oddly enough, although this album (obviously) sounds nothing like Beach House, both albums are best taken in small doses.

36.) Crystal Stilts - Crystal Stilts EP -- Not an iota of originality on this one, although the songs are tuneful enough, especially "Shattered Shine" and "Through the Floor."  If you think Paul Banks apes Ian Curtis, check this guy out.

37.) Dead Meadow - Old Growth -- On the album's excellent opening track, "Ain't Got Nothing (To Go Wrong)," these guys cultivate an addictive groove, chooglin' along like a whiskey-fueled Creedence jam session.  But the act gets old after a few tracks, drifting into jambandish aimlessness and never really taking the listener into balls-out RAWK!!! territory.

38.) Beck - Modern Guilt -- I'm not the world's biggest fan of DangerMouse. And although previous Beck producers have worked wonders with his material, that material was already at least good.  Although there are a couple of decent songs on this album, for the most part, the songs are lackluster, matching DangerMouse's "fabled" production beat for dreary beat.  I'm hoping this one will be a "grower," but who th' fuck knows.

39.) Robert Pollard - Robert Pollard Is Off to Business -- I've long advocated that Uncle Bob split once and for all with studio svengali/multi-instrumentalist Todd Tobias.  Not because they're incapable of making good music together: Fiction Man and From a Compound Eye were great; the Bubble and Zoom EPs had their moments, and much of late-period Guided by Voices was recorded with Tobias at the helm.  No, it's because somewhere along the way, over the past couple of years, Bob n' Todd forgot how to rock.  Although this is Bob's best new record -- including side projects -- since '06's good-not-great Normal Happiness, I'm still uncomfortable with the amount of autonomy Tobias has over the proceedings: remember, in the halcyon days of GbV, Bob was always at his best churning out tunes by the bucketload and recording them with whatever and whomever he had at his disposal at the moment, instead of allowing one (non-Bob) person (Tobias) to play almost all of the instruments himself.  While this isn't a bad record, it still sounds mature, and maturity has never suited Uncle Bob.  Nor should it.

40.) Birds of Avalon - Outer Upper Inner EP -- To be sure, I need more time with this one but thus far it reminds me a lot of last year's Bazaar Bazaar LP: competent (if unspectacular) music, with a Robin Zander soundalike crowing above it all. 

41.) Ratatat - LP3 -- Not gonna lie: I'm not finding that this one merits too many repeat listens.  Odd, because there's probably little difference between this and either of their first two records, which I liked.  It's possible that the sameness has finally gotten to me.

42.) Oxford Collapse - The Hann Byrd EP -- Many artists have clauses in their contracts stating that the parent label gets first crack at putting out a given release, and if the parent label passes on said release the band is allowed to farm the record out to another label.  If that's the case, it's understandable that Sub Pop would have passed on this one.  Where Oxford Collapse's previous album, Remember the Night Parties, set the standard for summer rockin' (at least to me), this one falls short.

43.) Growing - Live at Floristree 1.26.08 -- Useless if you're not high, although if you are high you may find the repetitiveness kinda groovy.

44.) Under Byen - Siamesisk -- To me, Under Byen's catalog consists of two types of music: dramatic, white-knuckle post-rock with arty Bjorkish flourishes, and limp new-agey noodling.  This EP, recorded with a full orchestra, unfortunately is neither here nor there: neither intriguing enough to warrant multiple listens, nor bad enough to skip outright.

45.) The Sword - Gods of the Earth -- Too samey.  Plus, the kinda fuzzy quality of the recording does a band like The Sword -- who should be recorded with precision and clarity in mind -- no favors.

46.) Awesome Color - Electric Aborigines -- One song has the line "there's nothing wrong/with what we say." Au contraire, mon frere: there's everything wrong with what you're saying.  Actually, the lyrics are so inexcusably godawful that a perfectly decent Stooges-y raveup is totally ruined.  Lots of "right/tonight/light" rhymes, over and over and over a-fucking-gain.  Seriously, the guy would have been better just yelling random phonetics or reading out of the phone book. 

47.)  Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel -- I really wanted to like this one (considering how awesome the Deerhunter album was --  #3 on last year's Best Of Albums list) but you're not going to find any great songs here, although Bradford Cox' DIY sound manipulation and production trickery is amusing at times.  All in all just too druggy and tossed-off sounding.

48.) Nine Inch Nails - The Slip -- '07's Year Zero was a crock of unadulterated shit, marrying half-baked political rants (yes, we hate Dubya too, we get it already) to uninspired, rote Trent-by-numbers tunelessness/melody avoidance.  Well, the political bile may be gone on The Slip, but the crappy music remains. 

49.)  Various Artists - Disco Not Disco 1974-1986 -- Again, I have no earthly idea why I picked this up, but if you like your disco lo-fi-ish this might be your cup of tea.

50.) No Age - Nouns -- Meh.  Must be yet another sign that I'm getting old, but I think these guys are the most overrated thing out there today.

51.) Jonny Greenwood - There Will Be Blood Soundtrack -- Useless without the context of the movie (which is excellent).  I've heard that Master Greenwood apparently ripped off a bunch of other avant-garde-ish composers to make this, which I guess somehow makes it even worse. 

52.) Black Mountain - In the Future -- The "heavy" riffs are derivative and uninspired, the folky interludes are substanceless, the songs plod, and that "LITE BRITE LITE BRITE LITE BRITE" bullshit is about as much fun as a kick square in the balls.  I like hard rockin' stuff that sounds good when you're high; this album just sounds like the musicians were high when they made it.  To quote my pal Beefy D., "this is hard rock for people who like Rusted Root." 

53.) Robert Pollard - Superman Was a Rocker -- Take it from this Pollard fanatic: this album fucking sucks.  Believe me, nobody wants Bob to step up his game more than I do, but any way you slice it this album is a depressing waste of time/money.  Where Bob used to craft incredible melodies seemingly effortlessly, this album just makes him sound tired, old, and lazy.

54.) Ponytail - Ice Cream Spiritual -- Basically, the musicians are Lords of the Underworld, and the vocalist is a ritalin-ed up Timmy.  Lots of screaming over a bedding of non-descript loud riffage.  Somewhere, Phil Collins is outraged.

   

The Best Albums of 2008 (so far): Update-- The First Quarter (list #16)

    I liked the way this post turned out, so what better time for an update than a week or so after the year's first quarter has come to a close.  WRT the earlier list, stuff has changed position and a ton of new shit has been added as I've seen fit. 

    The usual rules apply: this list includes pretty much everything I've heard this year thru the end of March -- the only releases that are officially off-limits are reissues, singles, one-offs, etc.*  Let's rock.

*[On that note, an honorable mention slot goes to O'Death's excellent "Spider Home" single.  I've been a fan for awhile now and this is the best song they've ever written.]

----

22.) Robert Pollard - Superman Was a Rocker -- Take it from this Pollard fanatic: this album fucking sucks.  By my count Bob's last decent (non-archival) releases were way back in '06 and believe me, nobody wants Bob to step up his game more than I do, but any way you slice it this album is a depressing waste of time/money.  Where Bob used to craft incredible melodies seemingly effortlessly, this album just makes him sound tired, old, and lazy.

21.) Black Mountain - In the Future -- The "heavy" riffs are derivative and uninspired, the folky interludes are substanceless, the songs plod, and that "LITE BRITE LITE BRITE LITE BRITE" bullshit is about as much fun as a kick square in the balls.  I like hard rockin' stuff that sounds good when you're high; this album just sounds like the musicians were high when they made it. 

20.) Jonny Greenwood - There Will Be Blood OST -- I don't understand all the critical love for this-- it's as though rock journalists want to kiss Radiohead's ass by proxy.  All this is is a bunch of boring quasi avant-garde piano tinkling.  At times you may find yourself thinking "hey, that part sounds kind of like the Psycho theme" for a few seconds but honestly that's as good as it gets.  Pass.

19.)  Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel -- I really wanted to like this one (considering how awesome the Deerhunter album was --  #3 on last year's Best Of Albums list) but you're not going to find any great songs here, although Bradford Cox' DIY sound manipulation and production trickery is amusing at times.

18.)  Various Artists - Disco Not Disco 1974-1986 -- Again, I have no earthly idea why I picked this up, but if you like your disco lo-fi-ish this might be your cup of tea.

17.) Fuck Buttons - Street Horrrsing -- The first track is excellent, the last track is decent, and the rest of the album is a total waste of time, meandering and going practically nowhere.

16.) Dead Meadow - Old Growth -- On the album's excellent opening track, "Ain't Got Nothing (To Go Wrong)," these guys cultivate an addictive groove, chooglin' along like a whiskey-fueled Creedence jam session.  But the act gets old after a few tracks, drifting into jambandish aimlessness and never really taking the listener into balls-out RAWK!!! territory.

15.) Under Byen - Siamesisk -- To me, Under Byen's catalog consists of two types of music: harrowing, dramatic post-rock with arty Bjorkish flourishes, and limp new-agey noodling.  This EP, recorded with a full orchestra, unfortunately is neither here nor there, neither intriguing enough to warrant multiple listens, nor bad enough to skip outright.

14.) Meshugga - Obzen -- The label on the front of this one reads: EXPERIENCE THE HEAVIEST, MOST DEVASTATING AUDIO ATTACK EVER CAPTURED IN 52 MINUTES AND 25 SECONDS which pretty much sums things up.  The band's unwavering assault is relentless, with arguably the most sophisticated bass drumming I've ever heard, but listening to the full thing is (literally) a bit of a beating.

13.) Howlin' Rain - Magnificent Fiend -- As I've written before, I really, really, really miss Comets on Fire, and it's a bit of an unfair disadvantage to any Howlin' Rain record, even a good one, that it is simply not Comets.  And it's not that Magnificent Fiend is a bad record; far from it, but in addition to being a bit too reserved for my tastes it lacks any truly *great* songs (like "Calling Lightning With a Scythe" and "The Hanging Heart" from the self-titled debut).  Nonetheless, there are some entertaining instrumental passages, not to mention great soloing on "Lord Have Mercy" and "Goodbye Ruby."

12.) The Kills - Midnight Boom -- I felt that The Kills perfected their dark, beat punk/no wave dramas on No Wow, so the slightly gussied-up, gimmicky feel of singles "URA Fever" and "Cheap and Cheerful" is a bit disappointing.   Midnight Boom was supposedly heavily influenced by schoolyard chants and cadences, which succeeds most notably on the standouts "Hook and Line" and "Sour Cherry" but comes off as grating on cuts like "Alphabet Pony."  Also notable is the successful foray into Luscious Jacksonish territory with the uberchill "Black Balloon."  Uneven record but still very listenable and catchy.

11.) Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull -- This album continues in the vein of the "new" Earth sound, replacing downtuned drones with slow-motion twang.  Adding Bill Frisell, the world's greatest guitarist, broadens the palette ever so slightly -- you might not even notice he's there but that's only because you'll be so relaxed you'll think that someone replaced your Splenda with smack.  (How's that for a Folgers challenge?)  Listening to this one I'm reminded of the quotes on the back cover of Earth's fifteen-year-old Earth 2: Special Low Frequency Edition touting the music's medicinal qualities: "...found it difficult to think of the things that disturb me..." and "I feel very alert yet very calm... Wonderful after a hard day." Or, more tellingly, "MY TENSION HEADACHES HAVE DISAPPEARED!" Mine, too.

10.) Dub Trio - Another Sound is Dying -- Chops, chops, chops, and more chops on these instrumentals, with very little actual "dub" present, unless you count a couple of brief, spacey interludes crammed between the breakneck mathy riffing.  At first one may think Biohazard or Helmet, but I'd say these guys sound most like the latter-day, unappreciated era of Faith No More, which is only fitting considering their place on Mike Patton's Ipecac label, their history as Patton's touring band for his Peeping Tom project, and Patton's turn on guest vocals on the creepy "No Flag."

9.) Goes Cube - Not What You Thought -- I admit it, my initial enthusiasm for this EP has cooled a little, but I'm still digging the fuck out of this.  More than probably any other artist on this list, Goes Cube seems to fit in with what's going on in "alternative" radio these days.

8.) Danava - Unonou -- These days it's stylish to reference Sir Lord Baltimore as an influence, but the first half of this album is likely as close as I've ever heard a modern band come to matching that band's primal greatness.  (Sadly, no singing drummer, though.)  Along the path of riff-heavy stoner metal, this is miles and miles superior to the Black Mountain record.  At times, these guys take the unusual step of basing songs around unconventional Dan Deaconish synth loops, which stand out gloriously amongst the usual crunchy sturm und drang.  And, at times, all of this somehow manages to work marvelously.  Unfortunately, the album fades a bit down the stretch, ending in a colossally embarrassing misstep with a godawful ripoff of Zeppelin's "Achilles Last Stand."   The first few songs are great, though.

7.) Beach House - Devotion -- If you liked their debut, you'll love this one; if you didn't care for the debut then this isn't likely to change your mind.  The hazy, dreamy atmospherics remain the same but the songwriting has improved, notably on "Gila" and "Heart of Chambers."  Victoria Legrand's phrasing remains excellent, as well: seriously, if the "ancient wi-hi-hi-hit" line in "Heart of Chambers" doesn't do it for you, then I just don't know what to tell ya, jack.

6.) Witch - Paralyzed -- I absofuckinglutely loved their debut (#6 on my 2006 Best Of Albums list) and although this one doesn't have anything as immediately awesome as "Seer" or "Rip Van Winkle" it still seriously rocks.  This time around, the songs are leaner and faster paced, adding a whiskey-n'-crank-tinged breath of Motorhead to the preexisting Sabbath/stoner template. 

5.) The Big Sleep - Sleep Forever -- I think this one got a bad rap.  Because everyone seems to mistakenly equate "instrumental" with "post rock" these days, stuff that should be just labeled "instrumental" gets docked points because it's not as grandiose as Godspeed or Mogwai, which is a stupid shame.  And in addition to this record's stunning instrumentals, songs like "Pinkies" and "Bad Blood" hearken the best of mid '90s alt rock.      

4.) Blood on the Wall - Liferz -- immature, lo-fi, garagey, and as fun -- and welcome -- as free blow.  Sure, you'll find yourself playing the "sounds like..." game throughout this album, but c'mon, that's part of the fun. 

3.) Magnetic Fields - Distortion -- Undeniably great pop songs.  My appreciation of this one has only grown over time, primarily because the sequencing totally ruins the first half of the album's flow.  Why the lugubrious "Old Fools" and "Mr. Mistletoe" aren't cordoned off from the sugary goodness of "California Girls," "Drive on Driver," "The Nun's Litany," "Zombie Boy" and "I Dream Alone" is beyond me.  So, to recap, this album's flow is, um, not good, but taken as a group of songs it's fantastic.

2.) Times New Viking - Rip It Off -- In this interview, when asked "what was the tipping point that made you sign with Matador?" guitarist Jared Phillips begins his answer by stating "Alien Lanes," which, without even reading any further, sums things up nicely.  And although the melodicism of Rip it Off doesn't necessarily approximate the awesomely schizophrenic kitchen sinkism of mid '90's GbV, the enthusiasm, immediacy and FTW/DIY style does. 

1.) The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust -- By starting Lust Lust Lust with "Aly Walk With Me," the longest track in their catalog, the Raveonettes are making a statement that goes beyond "this song is awesome" (which it is): by now, if you haven't warmed up to the Ronettes-by-way-of-Jesus and Mary Chain aesthetic, it's doubtful you ever will.  By going back to the distortion-drenched pop of Chain Gang of Love, The Raveonettes successfully revisit the beautiful/filthy dichotomy that they wielded so successfully on that album, harmonizing like the Everly Brothers while uncorking tales of jealousy, heartbreak, drugs and dirty, dirty fucking. 
    This album is like licking a lollipop that's covered in pubes.  Wait, no, that's a terrible analogy... fuck, I'm trying to go with the whole "sweet/filthy at the same time" thing.  Maybe "this album is like freebasing pixie sticks."  No, that doesn't work either.  Maybe "this album is like fingerbanging Mrs. Butterworth."  No, definitely not that.  Fuck it, I give up. 

---

That's all for now.  See y'all at Pissed Jeans Friday. 

The Best Albums of 2008 (so far)

*****EDIT: THIS IS THE OLD VERSION OF MY BEST OF '08 LIST.  THE NEWEST LIST CAN BE FOUND here.  THANKS FOR STOPPIN' BY!.*****

*****************************************

    Can't sleep and don't feel like doing any cleaning, so why not waste some time finally posting this mamma jamma.  Usual rules and caveats apply: this list comprises all of the albums I've heard so far this year.  Also, reissues are not eligible but pretty much everything else is.  Rock yonder McFuckbox/etc.

11.) Robert Pollard - Superman Was a Rocker -- for me, the year 2007 is the line of demarcation dividing the "good" part of Uncle Bob's career and the "crappy" part and this record does nothing to disprove that theory.  To recap, with the exception of a couple of good archival releases (Fading Captain retrospective Crickets and the two-disc Live From Austin), I've enjoyed nothing the man put out over the last year.  As someone who was pretty much obsessed with GbV and Bob's releases for quite some time, I'd love to see a return to form -- or at least serviceability -- but this is an unmistakably shitty record.

UM, HI AGAIN.  SORRY TO BE SO OBNOXIOUS, BUT TO REPEAT, THIS IS THE OLD VERSION OF MY BEST OF '08 LIST.  THE NEW LIST CAN BE FOUND HERE (54 ALBUMS LISTED!)

10.) Black Mountain - In the Future -- O-VER-RA-TED!  Clap! Clap! Clap-clap-clap!  Boring, passionless, cliche-riddled retro "hard rock" manufactured for people who don't actually like the genre. 

9.) Various Artists - Disco Not Disco 1974-1986 -- Seriously, how high was I when I downloaded this?  If you like your disco spare and unadorned by glossy production values, give this a shot.

8.) Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel -- Obviously this suffers in comparison to the dynamic, harrowing journey charted by Bradford Cox' "other" band on Cryptogram, but this one is just too samey, druggy and tossed-off sounding. 

7.) Dead Meadow - Old Growth -- With the exception of the standout opening track, "Ain't Got Nothing (to Go Wrong)" this album is fairly mediocre.  Sure, they seem to have mastered the art of the slowish boogie groove, but I wish they'd mix it up and just rawk the fuck out every so often.

6.) Dub Trio - Another Sound Is Dying -- One's enjoyment of this wordless collection of heavy prog riffs and breakneck tempo shifts relies exclusively upon one's enjoyment of music by that description.  But, like last year's Fucking Champs album, unless you're the type that gets dazzled by crunchy chops, it does seem to drag a bit towards the end.

5.) Magnetic Fields - Distortion -- Pop songs with clever lyrics and an obvious nod to Jesus and Mary Chain aesthetics (as freely admitted by Magnetic Fields' mastermind Stephen Merritt prior to the album's release).  I love the female-sung songs (especially "California Girls" and "Drive on Driver") but the male-sung baritone numbers are a bit tough to swallow. 

4.) Goes Cube - Not What You Thought -- Yup, I like this one.

3.) Blood on the Wall - Liferz -- Fun-as-hell garagey punk that'll have you bouncing your ass up and down whether seated or standing (from experience).  Personally, I prefer this to Awesomer -- it's more consistent, and "Junkeee Julieee..." is their best song yet.  Very enjoyable and delivered with a goofy, playful sense of humor that emphasizes a willingness to unabashedly wear their influences (Pixies, Sonic Youth, etc.) proudly upon their sleeves.

2.) Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust -- Another Jesus and Mary Chain "influenced" (to put it lightly) record, this one is blisteringly loud.  Lust Lust Lust was my preseason pick for album of the year, and there are several *perfect* songs on this one ("Dead Sound," "Hallucinations," and "Aly Walk With Me" among them), as well as a clever nod to former Raves' producer/prolific girl group contributor Richard Gottehrer with "I Want the Candy."  I still need to spin this one a lot more before reaching a final verdict on its relative awesomeness, but even without fully appreciating the album's second half (yet), this is pretty fucking great. 

1.) Times New Viking - Rip It Off -- What is it about Ohio lo-fi bands?  Delivered with first take immediacy and uncanny melodicism, Rip It Off sounds like nothing I've heard since Guided by Voices moved out of the basement about a decade ago.  And like No Age's Weirdo Rippers, listening to the youthful joy that this album exudes makes me feel somewhat lecherous -- fuckin' shit, I wish I was a decade younger.  Buyer beware: if you don't like hiss and feedback, you're not going to "get" this, but then again if you don't like hiss and feedback you're probably better off picking up a Kings of Leon record or some WIlco (or some other slick yuppie bullshit) anyway.

----------
STILL TO COME IN '08:

Howlin' Rain - Magnificent Fiend [March 4]
Birds of Avalon - Outer Upper Inner [March 18]
The Kills - Midnight Boom [March 18]
Witch - Paralyzed [March 18]
Under Byen - Siamesisk EP [March 27]
Black Keys - Attack and Release [April 1]
Breeders - Mountain Battles [April 8]
Tapes N' Tapes - Walk It Off [April 8]
Boris - Smile [April 29]
Portishead - Third [April 29]
No Age - Nouns [May 6]
Russian Circles - Station [May 6]
Futureheads - This Is Not the World [late May]
Oxford Collapse - BITS [August 5]
Metallica - unknown title [August?]
Boris - Mabuta No Ura soundtrack [when?]
Jay Reatard - compilation of '08 Matador singles [when?]
Stone Gods - Burn the Witch [already released in the UK, who knows if there's a US release date]
Mogwai [Summer?]
Beck [Summer?]
MBV????
Early Man???
A Place to Bury Strangers live album???
Wolfmother???
Yeah Yeah Yeahs???
Crippled Black Phoenix???
Hull???
Praxis???
Gil Mantera's Party Dream???
Scars on Broadway [Daron from System of a Down's new project]???
Seventh Void???

Good shows in NYC February 21st thru February 25th (list #14)

    Shitload of good shows coming up -- in fact, so many that I'm aiming to break a personal record and go to shows five straight nights, starting tomorrow night.  For awhile I was considering getting out tonight to catch former Chris Brokaw, formerly of Come (most underrated band ever?  Perhaps) at Knitting Factory tonight but I'll be pushing it expecting my back can make it through the subsequent five nights.  These shows should be great; to quote Eddie Murphy, "let's talk about them."

Thursday, February 21st
Show: The Big Sleep (record release show!) with Priestbird at Mercury Lounge
What to expect: For what seemed like the longest time, The Big Sleep was a band about whom I'd heard great things but never got the chance to see live.  They were slated to play the Northsix farewell show in January '07 along with Radio 4 and Free Blood -- a show that I had tickets for -- before Con Ed went and fucked that all up.  Way to go, dickbags!  Finally in December I got to see them at Knitting Factory on a bill with the mighty Cheeseburger (this show) and they turned out to be as awesome as I'd heard -- kinda post rocky, kinda atmospheric, but plenty of classic riffs.  They have a new album out which I got from eMusic but I haven't heard it yet.  I saw Priestbird on the fantastic Pelican/Earth/Priestbird triple bill last July and enjoyed the fuck out of their set as well -- kinda stonery with unusual instrumentation for such a heavy band, incorporating cello and violin. 

other Thursday shows:

Show: Magnetic Fields at Town Hall
What to expect: Full disclosure: Distortion is the first Magnetic Fields album I've heard (the whole 69 Love Songs deal didn't sound like my cup of tea), but I like what I'm hearing: bubblegummy pop filtered through Jesus and Mary Chain-esque ambience?  Hmm, that description kinda reminds me of another great band that just put out a new record...

Show: Jason Isbell at Bowery Ballroom
What to expect: Former Drive By Trucker comes into town again.  DBT were okay but I have to be honest: too much Southern Rock gives me the vapors.

Friday, February 22nd

Show: Blood on the Wall at Yuppie Northsix
What to expect: I first saw BotW in '06 at Warsaw opening for Dinosaur Jr. -- great, great show.  Their newest, Liferz, has been on repeat since I got it last month and currently sits at #3 on my favorite records so far this year list (I'll try to put that up over the next couple of days).  Bouncy, fun, funny garage pop.

other Friday shows:

Show: Goes Cube at BAM
What to expect: I've been washing Goes Cube's balls for quite some time now.  Yeah, these guys rock, and their new EP is awesome.  Check 'em out.

Show: Atakke at Don Pedro's
What to expect: I saw Atakke opening up for Baroness at Don Pedro's, and enjoyed their brand of balls-to-yer-forehead thrash.  During the show I saw one of the most fucked up things I've ever seen at a show (#2).  They return to the scene of the crime this Friday, which apparently is also their record release show.

Show: Black Mountain at Bowery Ballroom
What to expect: from the quantity of music journalist semen that has been spewed over these guys, I figgered they'd be okay, but I think both of their albums are uber-bland, kind of in the vein of "hard rock for people that don't like hard rock."  So, if you're into Belle and Sebastian or Morrissey or something, maybe you'll come out of this show thinking "wow, those guys rock!"  Otherwise, avoid. 

Show: Death Vessel at Pete's Candy Store
What to expect: I saw Joel Thibodeau twice in '06, once opening for Os Mutantes and once on a bill with Mission of Burma.  Intensely-delivered acoustic tunes.  Me likey.

Also, Magnetic Fields are playing at Town Hall again.

Saturday, February 23rd

Show: Atlas Sound at Mercury Lounge
What to expect.  I thought Deerhunter's Cryptogram (#3 of '07) was amazing, but I'm not feelin' Atlas Sound's new album-- too samey, gauzy and drugged out for me to enjoy without popping pills.  But whatever, I've heard that Atlas Sound does a great version of "I'll Be Your Mirror." 

other shows:

Magnetic Fields at Town Hall again.

Sunday, February 24th

Show: Times New Viking opening for Super Furry Animals at Bowery.
What to Expect: Yup, I've drank the Kool-Aid on these guys: Rip it Off is my favorite album of '08 so far, reminding me more and more of another Ohio band that I fucking loved.  Garagey, brash and almost oppressively lo-fi, but with so much pop goodness beneath the hiss to make you realize that legitimate recording studios are for pussies.

other shows:

People have been talking a lot about Headlights and the Evangelicals, and they're playing together at Mercury Lounge. 

Also, Atlas Sound plays Yuppie Northsix and Magnetic Fields is at Town Hall (again).

Monday, February 25th

Show: Russian Circles opening up for Dalek at Mercury Lounge
What to expect: Russian Circles' Enter was awesome enough to wind up at #4 on some asshole's Best of  '06 List, basically (for me at least) defining what great Post-Metal should sound like.  Sadly, the only time I got to see them live was opening up for Minus the Bear and some other crappy bands at Irving Plaza, and because there was an accident on the BQE I missed half of their criminally brief (25 minutes?!) set.  Well, time to redeem myself.  These guys don't have a new album out until May but I'd imagine they're playing some new stuff since before writing the new album they only had like six songs.

other shows:

Times New Viking and Super Furry Animals at Bowery (again). 

------------------------

okay.  That took awhile and was more than a bit of a beating, thanks to my new computer crashing FOUR times while I was trying to write it.  So, sure, it's not the best thing I've ever written but it's also certainly not the most useless thing I've ever written.  Meh.  Bring on the shows.

Loud and Fat's Top 10 Worst 2007 moments (list #13)

    I have a friend who occasionally posts comments on this site under the aliases "loud and fat," "unklefan007" and "covered in hives."  As it turned out, in '07 the two of us spent a lot of time going to shows together (mainly Cheeseburger shows, but also a bunch of others) and getting fucked up en route to said shows.  As such, there were several instances during which this fucking kid managed to really get on my nerves.  Truth be told, "loud and fat" isn't really much of a music fan; more often than not I'm pretty sure he tagged along with me to shows just to see how much he could piss me off during the evening. 

    When I posted my "Top 10 Most Annoying People I Met at Concerts" list a few weeks ago, he was dismayed to find that he wasn't on the list.  I have to admit, although several times he had me on the verge of ripping his head clear off his torso during '07, I didn't really want to include him on the list anywhere because, knowing him, he'd just want to "top" himself in '08, and obviously that's not something that I want to be around for, let alone encourage. 

    So during a coke party at his apartment late last year he talked me into making a "Top 10 Biggest Assholes" list of which he was the sole subject, and here it is.  Enjoy it, you bastard.

The Top 10 Most Irritating Things "Loud and Fat" did in 2007

10.) Heckling the band at Deerhunter/Dan Deacon/No Age, October 17th, Bowery Ballroom  
We were at this show, which was great, and we were standing fairly close to the stage, maybe six or so people lengths back, tops.  Between songs, Bradford from Deerhunter made a few comments about how hard it is to follow up an incredible act like Dan Deacon (who had performed before Deerhunter).  Also, Bradford went on to mention "the last time [Deerhunter] were here," alluding to their show at Bowery Ballroom in July, when after the band had finished playing their set Bradford stuck around onstage alone, wasted, and basically yammered at the crowd about his family/drugs/etc. for about a half hour.  Anyway, Loud and Fat wasn't really enjoying the set too much up to that point, but, in his mind, he certainly hadn't come to the show to hear witty stage banter.  In the middle of Bradford's schpiel, he loudly/drunkenly commanded the singer to "SHUT THE FUCK UP," which the band definitely noticed.  I cringed and looked around nervously, trying my best to pretend I didn't know him.

9.) Badgering me to write this stupid list, many occasions
To be sure, my time is worth very, very little, but face it, carving biblical verses into my taint with a boxcutter would be a better use of my time than writing this retarded list.

8.) Randomly shoving some guy, Deerhunter, October 17th (same show as #10 above)
Midway through the set, I had my eyes closed and was basically rocking out to Deerhunter.  Out of the corner of my eye I see Loud and Fat shove some random kid with all his might, for god knows what reason.  Later I asked him why he did that, and he came up with an unlikely story about the kid's girlfriend shoving past him or something, which was obviously a total fabricated crock of shit.

7.) Would-be accessory to assault/burglary, at Cheeseburger, October 15th at Galapagos
We were at this Cheeseburger show and a member of the crowd had brought a fancy video camera.  Apparently, Loud and Fat coveted this camera something awful.  He immediately began blabbering about "how awesome" this guy's fucking camera was, and he wouldn't shut the fuck up about it, going on and on and on.  Eventually Loud and Fat came up with a brilliant/foolproof plan: he offered me 400 bucks to "kick that guy's ass and take his camera."  Now, L+F is aware of my financial situation: I certainly didn't need his goddamn 400 bucks, and what's more I had no desire to get kicked out of this show.  After he went on about it for like 15 minutes, I had a solution: I sarcastically suggested that sure, I'd kick the guy's ass, but I'd only do it for a grand, no less.  This got L+F fucking steamed, and he immediately began acting like I was trying to rip him off.  "Fuck that!  A thousand bucks!  I might as well just buy my own fuckin' camera!" Indeed.

6.) Mr. Busybody Promotional Dickhole, a couple of weeks ago
From day one since I first mentioned to him that I'd started this shitty blog, L+F has been way, way more concerned with the idea of me generating site traffic with it than I have.  Fuck that.  I started this thing so I could anonymously bitch about shit that pissed me off without having a bunch of assholes jump me at a show every time I write something like "Holy Hail is awful."  Anyway, a couple of weeks ago L+F took it upon himself to submit my year end best of albums list to hypemachine under the name "Tudd" so it looks like I'm trying to drum up readership for this blog and promote it, which is fucking gay.

5.) Tough guy, at Cheeseburger, September 21st at Yuppie Northsix
Cheeseburger's (awesome) set was done, and Les Savy Fav, who I was eager to check out, were up next.  L+F was already a bit drunk but he went downstairs to get more drinks.  When he finally found me about a half hour later, he had some story about some girl, and he was basically bragging to me that he threatened to kick some chick's ass.  I couldn't really tell what the fuck he was talking about for the life of me, but also I didn't really care, so I was just kind of nodding and going "uh huh, that's great, right, yeah, uh huh."  There was something about headbutting her boyfriend thrown in his story too.  Not sure which is worse: threatening to kick some random girl's ass, or triumphantly bragging about it.  [Update: I was at L+F's apartment on New Year's eve and he brought this incident up, claiming that it never happened.  Our friend BJ overheard our argument and confirmed that, in fact, L+F had actually called him to brag about it as it happened.  Confirmed!]

4.) "Cuz I'm a loud, annoying moron" in my car after the Sept. 21st Cheeseburger show
We had left the show and I was driving towards the Palace Fried Chicken joint on Manhattan.  All night L+F had been "singing" lyrics from the Cheeseburger song "Tiger," mainly repeating the "Cuz I'm a motherfuckin'... Tiiiiiger" part over and over.  It was really starting to get on my nerves.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, he started SCREAMING the lyrics as loud as he could at the top of his lungs.  I finally cracked, and threatened to beat the shit out of him and kick him out of the car.  I'd like to think that I'm a pretty tolerant person but I'd finally reached my limit and snapped.  L+F seemed legitimately taken aback, mentioning that he'd never heard me yell like that before and told me that "you're a scary motherfucker when you want to be."

3.) Everybody loves being shoved at Art Brut, April 17th
L+F and I bonded over our mutual love of Art Brut's debut Bang Bang Rock and Roll album.  On a trip back to our alma mater in upstate NY (well, technically his alma mater; I was expelled) in April '06, we listened to BBR+R over and over again, plotting to form a shitty British punk band.  Anyway, a month later we met up to catch Art Brut at the Knitting Factory.  L+F was totally hammered and thus began his tradition of trying to knock me off balance at shows; he'd wait just until I was enjoying myself and slam into me as hard as he could (note: I'm at least two and a half times his weight).  At the Art Brut show we saw this year at Bowery, said tradition continued: just when I'd least expect it, I'd be pogoing along to, say, "Good Weekend," and L+F would come running at me full speed, repeatedly knocking me off balance into a guy and his girlfriend to my left.  They eventually got pissed, and I eventually just decided it would be a good idea to stop dancing.  Not dancing at an Art Brut show is like not getting cocoa bread with your beef pattie -- you know, it's just like, what's the point?

2.) Spreading joy, North 6th St., September 21st
Again, this was after one of the above Cheeseburger shows.  I decided that I'd rather not stick around for the Les Savy Fav set, so I left Yuppie Northsix and began walking back to my car which was parked a few blocks further down the street.  As I crossed Bedford, I received a text: "Dont leave me."  I felt bad so I texted him to meet me where I was.  When he showed up, he suddenly had another brilliant idea: "let's shotgun some beers."  Fuck no, I was driving, and I wanted to get the hell out of there.  So I waited while he went into a bodega to grab a beer.  After he had it cut open, he managed to drink maybe a mouthful, while spilling a bunch more all over himself before proudly spiking the still nearly-full beer to the ground.  My hero!  Half a block away we came across a smallish guy sitting on his stoop, holding his cell phone, and sobbing.  Still dripping beer from his face and neck, L+F extended an olive branch to the poor fellow, offering a sarcastic "Don't worry, buddy, everything's going to be OK!" complete with absurdly demonstrative sweeping hand motion.

"Fuck you," responded the sobbing dude.

What followed was about four blocks of L+F forcing out the most demonic, hate-filled laughter, and since it was about 1 AM and the streets were empty, his piercing voice echoed off the tall buildings, the reverberations transforming N 6th St. into a swirling cauldron of auditory misery.  We passed Sobbing Guy in my car on our way towards Greenpoint, at which point L+F rolled down his window and again taunted him, letting out a fiendish guffaw. 

1.) "I May Be Loud..." at Palace Fried Chicken, same night as above
After I threatened L+F (see #4 above) I felt immediately remorseful and stupidly agreed to his idea of getting something to eat.  He loves eating at the Polish restaurants in Greenpoint, but alas it was about 1 AM and none were open (although he didn't believe me).  I settled on the Palace Fried Chicken Joint on Manhattan, and bought a three-piece with some fries.  L+F, who had been pissing on a wall down the block, stumbled in, ordering the same and sitting down across from me.  "What the fuck," he suddenly exclaimed, "where the fuck are my cheese fries!" apparently in disbelief that the PFC employee had not telepathically understood that L+F wanted "cheese on my fries, goddamn it," L+F stood up and cut to the front of the line, barking out an order for "cheese fries, ese, and make it snappy."  "Holy shit," I thought.  "He's going to get us shot!"  I turned away and sped up the pace at which I was wolfing down my meal.

After receiving his treasured plate of cheese fries, L+F proved no more proficient at consuming them as he had during his piss-poor attempt at shotgunning a beer.  Within seconds, he had cheese all over his face and a small pile of cheese fries that had missed his pie-hole was accumulating on the floor by his feet. 

A couple of averageish girls walked into the chicken joint and began pondering their order.  Without breaking stride, and totally unprovoked, L+F belched out in their direction: "I may be loud, but you're fat." (Hence his nickname.)

One girl turned innocently towards us, with a perplexed and slightly hurt expression.  Of course, I tried to pretend that L+F was talking to me, offering up a timid "yeah, you're right, I've really been packing on the pounds.  I really have to start hitting the treadmill..."

But my attempt at salvaging the situation was sabotaged by L+F, who interrupted me and, pointing a cheese-covered index finger inches from the girl's face, growled "I'm not talking to you.  I'm talking to her." 

The girl let out a half-sigh half-whimper before ordering.  She had been totally humiliated.  I plotted my escape and as I walked out I noticed that she ordered a salad and a diet soda. 

 

The Best Albums of 2007, pt. 2 (list #12)

    In case you missed the first half of this list (numbers 1-35), you can find that here. 

    NOTE: it helps to read most of these reviews -- especially the ones that are overly snarky or fawning -- in Comic Book Store Guy voice.

2007: The Year in Albums, part two

36.) Tomahawk - Untitled -- Nobody, not even the most devoted Mike Patton fan, could have seen this one coming.  Untitled is a set of traditional Native American songs, some sung seemingly faithfully, but in most others Patton and Tomahawk work in all kinds of modern flourishes: metal, hip-hop, straight-ahead rock, simple balladry.  This sounds absolutely nothing like the self-titled debut or Mit Gas.  Taking it a step further, it's pretty safe to assume that you have nothing in your record collection that resembles this.

37.) No Age - Weirdo Ripper -- A very lo-fi and exuberantly noisy collection of tracks from this West Coast garage-punk duo.  Listening to this album I feel like a dirty old man leering at young girls in the park: youth is beautiful, and listening to this album (and seeing their live show) I realize that getting old sucks.  The who-gives-a-royal-fuck production values remind me of something that was once said by Scat label head Robert Griffin about an early GbV album: "this has a refreshing 'non product' quality to it."  Indeed.

38.) Scout Niblett - This Fool Can Die Now -- This one... vexes me.  At various times throughout the course of this album, Niblett produces sounds harrowing, comforting, earpiercingly shrill, defiant and hopelessly romantic.  It's on the outstanding "Kiss," a duet with Will Oldham -- when she somehow manages to effectively combine each of these elements -- that the album works best.  There are other good tracks, to be sure, as Steve Albini's stark production occasionally even manages to evoke In Utero-era Nirvana (!), but many of the songs sound too one-dimensional and tossed off.  This Fool would have benefited from a more judicious track selection, but self-editing has never been among Niblett's strong points.

39.) Coliseum - No Salvation -- Explosively intense white hot fury from this Kentucky (I think) hardcore trio.  While plenty of doom vocalists are accused of leaning too heavily on vocals reminiscent of Cookie Monster, this guy does a fairly faithful approximation of the Tasmanian Devil -- there's such a strong amount of conviction in his delivery that I wish I had some idea what the fuck he was saying.

40.) Birds of Avalon - Bazaar Bazaar -- Throwback album with a lot of '70s rock influences shining through.  Got turned on to these guys during their live set opening for the Fucking Champs back in June and as someone who grew up on AOR, I have to say it's cool to hear an amalgam of all things '70s coming out of my on this one.  Part early Rush, part Thin Lizzy, with lots of psych thrown in, and the singer sounds almost exactly like Cheap Trick's Robin Zander.

41.) Maserati - New Inventions for the Season -- sleek, tight, restrained post-rock instrumentals -- in fact, a little too tight and restrained for my tastes.  Main complaint: fades into the background just too easily.  But any record with Gerald Fuchs, former drummer with the criminally underrated Turing Machine, as well as a song entitled "Synchronicity IV," has to be worth a few listens.

42.) Fucking Champs - VI -- gratuitous, dazzling thrash wizardry which (unfortunately) gets a bit samey after awhile.  Good, even great, taken in small doses however.

43.) Okkervil River - The Stage Names -- I feel like a dick even putting this on the list considering that it's clearly an album that requires more than the handful of listens that I've afforded it thus far(I only got it a few weeks ago).  In other words, if I were to make this list a year from now, I'd bet The Stage Names would find itself at least twenty places higher.  "Unless It's Kicks" is one of my favorite songs of the year and the closing track is especially moving when understanding the significance of the backstory.  New Year's resolution #1: put this one into heavier rotation.

44.) Pig Destroyer - Phantom Limb -- Well, I like what I've heard, but I rent a basement apartment from a family with one year-old kid.  In other words, not too many opportunities to blast this shit so loud that the rafters shake without having to deal with the possibility of coming back "home" and finding the locks changed and all my shit kicked to the curb.

45.) 3 Inches of Blood - Fire Up the Blades -- great drum sound, thanks to signing Slipknot's Joey Jordison as producer.  Decidedly heavier than Advance and Vanquish, and these guys really take advantage of the two lead-singer thing well.  But, bottom line, the guitars just simply aren't pushed forward enough in the mix for me to get too into it.

46.) Blues Control - Blues Control -- Live, these guys are able to successfully combine wanky arena rock, well-placed funky backing tracks and spacey atmospherics into a big ball of awesome.  Which is why I don't necessarily understand the seemingly universal praise this album has received -- the actual music making is too often back-burnered, hidden behind drum machines and other sound effects.

47.) Serj Tankian - Elect the Dead -- Basically this is a heavily diluted System of a Down album, which is to be expected.  If nothing else, Elect the Dead proves that Daron Malakian's unique brand of itchy/crunchy riffage is just as important to System's sound as Serj's versatile, plaintive vocals -- without Malakian's innovative musical bedding, Serj is left singing over what sounds like a bunch of overproduced, boring-as-hell Linkin Park-ish backing tracks.  Even this album's crazy gypsy breakdowns (check out the middle section of "Sky is Over") seem played out, and too many choruses are just plain clunky ("Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!  Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!")  Also, can we once and for all dispense with the half-assed quasi political bent?  Is the vague, middlebrow philosophizing of half-baked phrases like "we are the cause of a world gone wrong" supposed to actually be provocative?

48.) Art Brut - It's a Bit Complicated -- Face it, when you make a record as brilliantly retarded as Bang Bang Rock and Roll, you're gonna find yourself painted into a corner.  Continue in the same vein as the first record's peppy, catchy sloganeering and folks will say you're stuck in a rut.  But tighten up the band, improve your chops, and make it a point to mature a bit lyrically, and, well, then you've got this record, which unfortunately just ain't all that good or memorable.  In all fairness, it's hard to tell what's more responsible for prematurely de-railing this album's ascent towards the top of any reviewer's list, though: simply succumbing to the sophomore slump, or unrealistlically high expectations.

49.) Titan - A Raining Sun of Light and Love for You and You and You -- You can probably tell what this one sounds like by just reading the title: 9+ minute proggy jams, kind of in the vein of a crunchier Yes (complete with Wakeman-esque keyboard runs).  I bought this record at Panthers' record release party back in April.  For a while there, reaching back into early/mid '06, it seemed that any time I'd see a "heavy music"-themed show in Brooklyn these guys would be somewhere on the bill as openers, and since I really liked one of their songs ("Annals of the Former World") I said what the heck and ponied up the ten bucks.  Your enjoyment of this record will depend entirely upon your patience for '70s prog.

50.) Grinderman - Grinderman -- I bet if you were to make a Venn diagram of Jim Morrison and Nick Cave fans, you'd have something that looks like this:

On the left you have the hipper Cave fans, who think Morrison's ninth grade badpoetry is played out.  In the center you have the group that celebrates the catalog of both.  Most likely, these people also have a lot of Morrissey posters.  And on the right you have Doors fans who have never heard of Nick Cave.  Not sure what this proves, other than that I'm pretty obviously getting pretty burned out from compiling this list.  Best song: "No Pussy Blues," by a country mile.

51.) Eyvind Kang - Athlantis -- Long on the "haunting" and "terrifying," short on the "beautiful."  At least you get to have Mike Patton yell at you in Latin.

52.) Beastie Boys - The Mix-Up -- not sure why anyone would bother with this -- a collection of mostly mediocre Phish-esque instrumentals -- when the vastly superior In Sound from Way Out is still available.   Best song: "Off the Grid."

53.) Battles - Mirrored -- Man, I wanted to like this record, but count me as one of the few who just don't get it.  Odd, I know, especially since I loved "Atlas" from the moment I heard it.  Mirrored sounds to me like a slightly more glossed up version of Ian Willams' former band, Don Caballero, a band I was "supposed" to like, never actually finding any reason to go back to their stuff.  I'll save the hyperbole for the others who've gone abso-fucking-lutely goo goo ga ga over this one. 

54.) Menomena - Friend and Foe -- Doesn't grab me, except "Weird."  Meh-nomena.

55.) Down - Over the Under -- Better than Bustle but nowhere near as good as NOLA.  Uninspiring, unambitious, generic stoner fodder.

56.) Queens of the Stone Age - Era Vulgaris -- Truly one of the most disappointing records of the last several years, possibly even rivaling The Futureheads' godawful News and Tributes in the category of Jesus-Christ-who-knew-these-guys-could-put-out-a- sausage-shaped-but-lumpy-like-this-one.  And think about it: it came pretty much out of nowhere: before Era Vulgaris, QoTSA was a band that had pumped out good records with amazing consistency -- never spectacular, but always fun and listenable.  This one's neither: for the most part you get heaping portions of tuneless, dreary and uninteresting. 

57.) Hollerado - Demo in a Bag -- I caught these Canadian kids opening up for (and at least in my mind overshadowing) the Black Lips at Bowery Ballroom in September.  Unfortunately, this 3-song EP/demo doesn't capture the affable self-deprecation and energetic humor of their live set.  But I'll be looking forward to whatever these guys put out next.

58.) Shellac - Excellent Italian Greyhound --  ...And by now you know what yer getting into with Shellac: dorky witticisms, genuine oddness, caustic humor and crush-a-walnut-between-yer-buttcheeks-tight musicianship.  Extra points for the nod to The Who Sell Out ("Hold ya groove together... with RotoSound Strings!") but I can't find any reason to go back to this record.

59.) Jesu - Lifeline -- What am I missing here?  Everything I read about this had me thinking Jesu would be right up my alley, but with all the great post-rock/post-metal stuff available these days, this doesn't really measure up (let alone stand out).  Bland music and weak vocals.

60.) Puscifer - V is for Vagina -- undoubtedly the wtf record of the year.  Who knew that uber metal god Maynard Keenan had an album of slick-as-snails, creepy-yet-superboring R&B up his sleeve?  To quote Gilbert Gottfried, "not good."

61.) Hella - There's No 666 in Outer Space -- A friend who's usually good for musical recommendations suggested that I finally get into Hella, but I have the feeling I'd be more into their instrumental era, which, to my understanding, does not include the Claypool-soundalike singer on this record.  A very, very busy album, jampacked and overloaded with migraine-inducing clatter. 

62. and 63.) Robert Pollard - Coast to Coast Carpet of Love and Silverfish Trivia -- Hey kids!  Do you like rock?  Because, to paraphrase the introduction to Guided by Voices' landmark Propeller LP, "these albums do NOT rock."  To be sure, Uncle Bob used to know how to rock, but replacing "the rawk" with the "the maturity" that's infiltrated his recent recordings is not a welcome trend.  For as long as I can remember, Bob's served as one of indie rock's elder statesmen, drunkenly preaching to the converted about the importance of preserving "the rawk," but on these outings he just sounds old, like a bitter codger telling the nieces and nephews to "turn that godawful noise down" rather than making his own joyous racket in the first place.  As much as it pains me to piss on the work of an artist that's meant so much to me for so long (Blues and Boogie Shoes, Normal Happiness, From a Compound Eye and Moon were all firmly within last year's top 20), I have to wonder whether Bob's initially symbiotic relationship with producer/multi-instrumentalist Todd Tobias has finally turned the man's music to complete crap.

64.) The Takeovers - Bad Football -- Another underwhelming Pollard release, this time as The Takeovers with former GbV bassist Chris Slusarenko and a bevy of guests.  Last year's Turn to Red contained some of the best music of Bob's career ("Insane/Cool It" and "Be it Not for the Serpentine Rain Dodger" rank up there with anything, GbV or otherwise, from the past decade-plus) but Bad Football is dull and mediocre.

65.) The White Stripes - Icky Thump -- Not wasting another minute on this band.

66.) M.I.A. - Kala -- Don't believe the hype!  How is this any different than, say, a new Spice Girls joint?  If you actually like this album, you probably think "kewl mizzpellingz" are, well, "kewl," and you've probably spent too much money on sunglasses in the last year.

67.) Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero -- If you were eagerly anticipating Trent Reznor's first foray into "politically charged" songwriting, well, may I invite you to sink your teeth into this shitburger.  Yup, this is what Trent's unmitigated hatred of a certain Dubya sounds like: uninspired sludge married to unbearable lyrics.   
 
68.) Robert Pollard - Standard Gargoyle Decisions -- If you can spot a single decent hook on this record, please let me know where.  FUCK!

69.) Marnie Stern - In Advance of the Broken Arm -- Sorry, not sold on this one.  Someone told me this sounded like Lightning Bolt (who I like) meets Deerhoof (who are terrible), but to me it's more of a Hella meets Deerhoof type deal.  Plus, the vocals are really really super grating.

70.) Oneida - Seeds of Contemplation -- On this retrospective (of sorts), the listener is treated to lots of wacky genre hopping, with heaping portions of electronic, krautrock, garage, etc.  Some genuinely intriguing ideas and a nice, crunchy synth sound, even if there are few (if any) truly good songs here. 

71.) Rush - Snakes and Arrows -- I know, I know, what did I expect.  But as a card-carrying member of the High School Pariah Alumnus Club (there are no meetings, because we've all finally realized that we prefer being alone), Rush's lyrics really spoke to me during the early to mid-90s, and the technical wizardry so eagerly displayed by Geddy, Alex and Neil served as a measuring stick of chops against which other bands could rarely match up.  At this point however, Rush can be expected to pinch off another album-length turd every couple years just so they can have an excuse to fire up the umpteenthousandth Greatest Hits tour -- tuned down a couple of steps, of course, allowing Geddy to pretend he can still hit the high notes.  Their worst album, ever.

72.) The Nightwatchman - One Man Revolution -- Really, what's more inessential: Rush's ten billionth studio album, or this, Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello's collection of acoustic protest songs?  Having Brendan O'Brien produce this is like using a jackhammer to build a gingerbread house: O'Brien likely spent untold dumpsters full of cash trying to make this record sound like it was recorded on a boombox instead of, you know, just recording it on a boombox in the first place. 

73.) Bloc Party - A Weekend in the City -- it's pretty rare that terrible lyrics can render an otherwise moderately hook-laden record completely unlistenable, but oy vey, these are some bad, bad lyrics.  Like a petulant, spoiled teenager who has just put down the baseball cards and picked up vague activism ("yeah! Save the Vote! Rock the Whales!") under the guise of appearing "responsible," or "independent," this album is highly bitchslappable.  Even includes the obligatory "let's scare mommy and daddy that I might be gay" track.  If this album were a TV character, it would be AJ from the Sopranos a few years ago, berating family members for "not caring" about hybrid automobile technology, and then moments later asking his comatose father for a gas guzzler after all the hypocritical bluster.

------------------

    *Whew* glad that's finally over.  70+ albums and hundreds of scatalogical references later, I can finally start digging into the huge pile of CDs that I haven't listened to yet that sits on the lower shelves of my wall unit.  There were several new albums that I regret not having heard in '07, among them:

John Fogerty
Black Moth Superwhatever
Holy Fuck
Blonde Redhead
St. Vincent
Kinski
Mono
Dan Deacon
Hellyeah
Circus Devils
Method of Defiance

Thanks in particular to go eMusic, the now-defunct North Shore Sound (R.I.P.) and my associates "Jake" and "loud and fat" for actually taking the time to read (and comment on) this blog.  As for me, I'm'a smoke a bowl and go lay down.  Tuddd out. 

 

The Best Albums of 2007 pt. 1 (list #11)

    Better late than never, eh?  Well, what say we get right into it.

    I'm reluctant to brand 2007 "the year of" anything in particular because I don't really see any recent trend as being definitive.  There were unlikely comebacks, stunning debuts, disappointing clunkers and puzzling choices.  Personally, 2007 was the year that I finally fell out of love with Robert Pollard's non-archival releases.  (*SOB* Parting is such sweet sorrow!)  My favorite record store closed down, my dad died, I quit my shitty job, and I started my own business.  But enough about me.

    Before we get started, first: the ground rules, which remain the same as last year : this only counts albums released in '07, and not reissues, so no Daydream Nation, Nico's The Frozen Borderline or ELO's Out of the Blue, or the Blossom Toes or 13th Floor Elevators reissues.  But pretty much everything else is fair game -- live albums, limited edition EPs, retrospectives compiling old tracks, whatever.  Also, this list only contains albums that I personally own -- none of that Limewire bullshit.  And, yes, I will eventually have mini-reviews posted for all 70+ albums I heard in '07.  This is just the first half.

    Oh, and winner of the yearly "Sufjan Stevens Illinoise Memorial Trophy" (given to the album responsible for so much spillage of music journalist ejaculate that my adding a review would surely result in nothing but redundancy) is Panda Bear's Person Pitch.

    So let's have at it, shall we?

2007: The Year in Albums

1.) Arcade Fire - Neon Bible -- All those of you that expected Arcade Fire to follow up the incredible Funeral with an equally worthy sophomore record, stand up.  The general consensus was that the rich emotional depths that were successfully mined to such stunning effect on Funeral would just be too much to be equaled a second time around.  Fortunately, as it turned out, the band members didn't need to suffer through further family tragedies -- as they famously did prior to Funeral's release -- to find the inspiration necessary to create another excellent album.

     Replacing the mournfulness of Funeral with righteous, bilious outrage at a world gone mad, Neon Bible isn't a protest record in the traditional sense in that its disillusioned fury is not focused on a sole target.  Instead, Win Butler's lyrics paint with a broad stroke, with the prevailing themes of perseverance (as in "Keep the Car Running") versus suffocating hopelessness ("Black Mirror," notably) and justified paranoia ("Windowsill") coloring much of the material.  In one of the most original first-person narratives since Steely Dan's "Don't Take Me Alive,"  "Antichrist Television Blues," (supposedly originally titled "Joe Simpson"), eviscerates the unconscionable greed and lecherous hypocrisy of "God-fearing" showbiz parents literally from the inside out.

    Not that it's perfect.  For one, they probably shouldn't have put the two "Don't wanna..." songs back to back (Antichrist Television Blues and Windowsill).  And "My Body Is a Cage" sounds like leftovers from  "Intervention" But these are relatively minor quibbles, and by never coming within shouting distance of the sophomore slump, Arcade Fire have established themselves as the best band in the world. 

2.) Radiohead - In Rainbows -- Consciously turning away from the compulsion to reinvent themselves yet again, what we have here is easily the most comfortable Radiohead's ever sounded.  Disclaimer: this is most assuredly not a RAWK album, nor is it given to overly ambitious flights of electronic fancy, and the ideological axe-grinding is kept to a minimum.  Wisely, this leaves plenty of room for what's always been the most striking instrument in their arsenal: Thom Yorke's voice.  As usual, Nigel Godrich's production is picture perfect, framing Yorke's gentle melodies with ebbs and swells that serve to augment instead of overpowering the material.  And with the focus firmly on the melodies, Yorke uncorks some real stunners.  Best song: The wordless coda of "Nude" is the most sublime musical moment of the year.

3.) Deerhunter - Cryptograms -- A complex, at times harrowing inward journey so instantly identifiable and evocative that you can practically hear the unwelcome clamminess of cold sweat percolating within your speakers.  Just as with their fantastic live show, Deerhunter manage to expose insecurities without wallowing in gratuitous unpleasantness -- although some severely macabre themes are visited throughout the album's course, the main impression Cryptograms leaves is the painstaking care that clearly went into its production, not to mention the obvious appreciation of Floyd-esque subtlety and dynamics.

4.) Dinosaur Jr. - Beyond -- The beast awakes!  Nearly twenty years after the dissolution of the "classic" Dino Jr. lineup, who'd'a thunk they'd drop a legitimate contender for album of the year right out of the gate?  And with Beyond being jam-packed with great song after great song, one comes away with the feeling that this reunion will not be of the simple one-and-done variety. (Well, that and the fact that they've been touring almost incessantly for the last two years.)  Within the Dino Jr. catalog, only You're Living All Over Me tops Beyond.  Yes, it's better than Bug.  Way, way, way better. Best song: the multipart "Pick Me Up" which traverses several distinct sections before locking into the year's best guitar solo.

5.) Robert Pollard - Crickets: The Best of the Fading Captain Series, 1999-2007 -- A two disc  retrospective highlighting the best and the brightest from Robert Pollard's now-retired Fading Captain Series label, encompassing forty+ solo albums, through-the mail collaborations, and other assorted idiosyncratically-named side projects.  Unfortunately since Pollard's first two proper solo records (Not in My Airforce and Waved Out) were released by Matador, there's nothing to be found on here from those undeniable classics but fear not, this sumbitch still has a ton of great tracks.  As a Fading Captain Cliffs Notes of sorts it holds up as well as can be expected (if not better), but in the name of all that's holy, where the fuck is Submarine Teams?  Includes 6 previously unreleased tracks for the diehards.  Best song: how about a top six?  1.) "Pop Zeus," arguably Pollard's finest composition ever, 2.) "Sensational Gravity Boy, 3.) "Stifled Man Casino," from the first Airport 5 collaboration (with former GbV member Tobin Sprout), 4.) the grungy-as-fuck "Time Machines" from Lexo and the Leapers, 5.) the semi-lecherous "Tight Globes," and 6.) the defiant chest-beater (and live favorite) "Alone, Stinking and Unafraid."

6.)  Cheeseburger - Cheeseburger -- Do you like to party?  Well, do ya?!!  Cheeseburger takes rock back to... well, I'm not sure when, (when was rock ever this fun?) but a time when in order to forget your troubles all you needed was a pocketful of quarters for the jukebox, a keg and a group of drunk-off-their-ass crazy friends.  Think all the fun, showmanship and off-color humor of a more-belligerent AC/DC, with the bombast crammed down from arena size just enough to fit in your corner bar.  Or, better yet, your basement. 

7.) Guided by Voices - Live From Austin -- Well, a mediocre-to-averageish GBV show was/is pretty much better than anything anyone else (Robert Pollard included) can put out there these days.  Also comes on DVD.  On this show, recorded for the Austin City Limits television program during a stop on the band's farewell "Electrifying Conclusion" tour in 2004, Uncle Bob reaches into his seemingly bottomless well of songs to rock out with just-added rarities ("Do the Earth," "Navigating Flood Regions"), "new" shit from their underrated Half Smiles of the Decomposed album ("Gonna Never Have to Die," "Girls of Wild Strawberries,") and all-time faves ("Echos Myron," "Tractor Rape Chain").  Highlights: rhythm guitarist/blacked-out superhero Nate Farley tumbling off the stage during "Fair Touching;" Bob accidentally introducing surprise guest Pete Yorn as "Tom Yorn," Bob totally muffing the lyrics during "Pendulum" only to be saved by right hand man/lead guitarist Doug Gillard, (who receives a "Thanks, Doug!" from an appreciative Bob) and the ensuing "you can suck and still rule" monologue.

8.) Pelican - City of Echoes -- Sorry, but it has to be said: one's enjoyment of this album is directly related to how much the sloppy drumming annoys/distracts you.  But if you can learn to focus on the riff-savvy songwriting and fantastic guitar interplay instead, you're golden.  Best post-metal record since last year's stunning Enter by Russian Circles.

9.) Panthers - The Trick --  Brooklyn band's follow up to 2004's super-awesome Things Are Strange sets you up with a stunning array of heavy riffing, then knocks you out with clever, passionate lyrics.  These ten tracks are over quick, with most clocking in at under three-and-a-half minutes, and I salute the brevity, but I feel that the addition of a slow-burning, meandering track (like Things Are Strange's "We Are Louder" and "If You Were Young Once, Rage") or two would have varied the dynamics just enough to really knock this one outta the park.  One of the top "heavy music" records of the year.   

10.) Hull - Viking Funeral --  Hull manage to cram everything that's great about metal into one incredible 17 minute track: bone-crushing riffs, dextrous guitar work, psychotic growls, dramatic climaxes, and just enough bluesy noodling to occasionally drag the listener back to normalcy.  Having caught these guys live a couple of times and heard some of their other jams, you can bet I'll have my ear to the ground listening for info about a new release. 

11.) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Is Is EP -- A collection of 5 songs written between Fever to Tell and Show Your Bones.  And that's important to state: this is a collection of songs which are actually able to stand on their own, away from the preconceptions/baggage of the vaunted YYY live show.  While I listened to Fever to Tell thinking "boy, these songs don't hold a candle to their in-concert counterparts," this record proves that they're capable of putting together an incredibly tight, cohesive EP of damn good music.

12.) Interpol - Our Love to Admire -- an uneven record, and the weakest of their three LPs, but still strong enough to yield several gems.  (First single "The Heinrich Maneuver" is not amongst said gems.  Spoiler alert!) And although Our Love doesn't reach the heights of their previous two full-lengths, at least they didn't try to shoehorn some radio-friendly crap on there somewhere, y'know, since they're on a major label now and all.  In fact, the closest anything comes to being "extravagant" or "bloated" on this record is the orchestra on "Pioneer to the Falls," which compliments the song *perfectly*.  Seriously, guys, thanks for not trying to sound like the Goo Goo Dolls or whatever.   

13.) Sigur Ros - Hvarf/Heim -- This consists of two distinctly separate EPs, the first of which (Hvarf) collects unreleased tracks and a couple of alternate takes, and the second of which (Heim) culls tracks from a mostly acoustic tour of the band's native Iceland.  While these guys have been accused (as has the entire post-rock genre) of relying too much upon simple quiet-loud dynamics to create their stunning crescendos, Heim shows that the band are not simply slaves to their wattage.

14.) Type O Negative - Dead Again -- Probably the band's most consistent release since their 1994 breakthrough Bloody Kisses.  Should you choose to listen, be ready for the following: gratuitous riffing spread across multi-part suites, Brooklyn accents, rolled "r"s, self-deprecating lyrics, incomprehensible soapbox harangues, and keyboard interludes so lame that Richard Marx hears 'em and says, "that's gay."  To have seen these guys live recently (their show at Irving Plaza in May was the single most disappointing show I caught all year ), one might have come to the conclusion that they were better off heading gracefully into retirement (or rehab/jail), that won't be necessary.  Well, at least for another few years or so.  Prepare to be thoroughly offended.

15.) Baroness - The Red Album -- The skullcrushing riffs!  The formidable chops!  The...  The... uninspired vocals!  Seriously, this is a top notch metal album sabotaged somewhat by some dreadfully monotonous and repetitive vocal melodies.  Fortunately, the emphasis here is placed heavily enough on lengthy instrumental passages that the singing isn't an automatic turnoff.  Best song: "Grad," which is -- you guessed it -- an instrumental.

16.) Pissed Jeans - Hope for Men -- Basing their fury upon boredom, self-doubt and loathing a loathsome society, Pissed Jeans use an impossibly sludgy presentation to hammer their point home.  Sludgecore to the max.  Basically, Hope for Men is the musical equivalent of shitting yourself at work -- on purpose.

17.) Os Mutantes - Live at the Barbican Theater -- A recording of the influential Brazilian group's first performance from their comeback tour in 2006.  I've had the pleasure of seeing Os Mutantes live twice, and I'm a bit puzzled why they would have chosen to release their first show back; many of these songs were further limned out and expanded as the band became more comfortable playing them.  In that way, this can be seen as a somewhat expanded, live version of their stupendous Anything Is Possible best-of release.  While many have been critical of the "Jesus Christ Superstar"-ish presentation of some of the songs (probably most flagrantly obvious on "Technicolor"), the full band and choir really comes through in the clutch, especially on the more complex vocal arrangements.  And while the prominent place in the band's sound assumed by Sergio Dias' surprisingly chops-y lead guitar playing has been criticized in print countless times, f that noise with a broomstick: Os Mutantes is a band for whom self-indulgence, bombast and absurdity are not dirty words.

18.) Panda Bear - Person Pitch -- [Yeah, I know I wasn't going to post a review for this bad boy, but I figured I'd share this.  While perusing the eMusic member reviews before I snagged this record, I came across a negative one which dismissed Person Pitch as little more than  "Beach-Boys-on-a-radio-in-another-room-in-a-church noise."  Wait, you're trying to tell me that that's a negative review?!]

19.) Boris with Merzbow - Rock Dream -- Limited edition release of a live collaboration between shapeshifting Japanese metal band Boris and acclaimed noise merchant Merzbow.  Recorded in Tokyo earlier this year, the track selection includes examples many of the more well-known phases of Boris' career: lengthy doom/noise suites ("Feedbacker" clocks in at nearly 40 minutes), straightforward raveups (Akuma No Uta's Ibitsu and Pink's "Pink" and "Woman on the Screen"), the title track from this year's uberchill collaboration with Michio Kurihara, Rainbow, and all kinds of fascinating shit from here and there.  To be sure, Boris are a formidable machine live (I seen 'em twice), although I'm not sure Merzbow's additions to this recording are all that significant -- the songs are great enough without smearing an Echoplex all over 'em.

20.) Bad Religion - New Maps of Hell -- There are two possible schools of thought on this record: 1.) "wow, they pinched out another?  Aren't these guys like two decades past their prime?"  or 2.) "fuck tha haters, their recent records have been good."  If you're in camp #1 you're probably not going to be convinced to check this one out either way.  For those in camp #2, this is a solid record, not as good as Empire or Process but better than No Substance and New America.  

21 and 22.) Two Gallants - The Scenery of Farewell (EP) and 2GS (album) -- I'm reviewing these together because to my ears they could have conceivably originated from the same sessions; the material sounds that much alike.  Or they could be leftovers from last year's #13 What the Toll Tells.  Anyway, these guys do a gritty and proficient amalgam of folk and punk -- it's amazing Adam Stephens can pull off "grizzled" when he looks like Neil Patrick Harris with stubble.  Although I don't like any of these tracks quite as much as "Prodigal Son," "Steady Rollin'," "Waves of Grain," or "Long Summer Day," but as that album aged particularly well, so should these two.

23.) A Place to Bury Strangers - A Place to Bury Strangers -- Make no mistake, these guys are probably my favorite "new" NYC-area band (hey, that's some great Kool-Aid! Top me off, wouldja?), but that's largely based on their seizure-inducing live show (c'mon, they even use a strobe light for Kirk's sake!).  This album is somewhat of a mixed bag, recorded lo-fi on the cheap, drenched in feedback and swathed in the effects produced by frontman Oliver Ackerman's homemade guitar pedals.  While I usually commend a band for such a blatantly DIY presentation, a little more polish would have really helped to translate their sophisticated layered/swirling live sound onto record.  Not to be overly critical, but would Loveless (one of this album's obvious musical touchstones) have been as awesome without Kevin Shields' maniacal Svengali-esque overproduction?  I think not.  Musically, you're getting a julienned amalgam of My Bloody Valentine, Jesus and Mary Chain, Ministry, and the like.  If you're going to wear your influences on your sleeve, you might as well be influenced by the best.

24.) Interpol - Live EP -- This tasty little number is available only at select indie stores -- a nice tip of the cap to a community that embraced Interpol's dark aesthetic from the beginning now that the band is on a major.  The six songs represented here, recorded in London, are all good choices.  My only complaint is that Carlos D's bass is not as prevalent in the mix as it should be, robbing the band's tight-as-hell rhythm section of its meloidic element.  But still easily worth the purchase.

25.) Praxis - Tennessee 2004 -- In the year's second most aggressive display of chops (to the Fucking Champs, listed below), we have virtuoso Buckethead dropping surgically precise, flashfingered guitar bombs over the equally impressive drumming of ex-Primus drummer Brain, rooted down by the thick-as-molasses, confident dubbiness of Bill Laswell.  The many solo sections prove that this band might just have too much talent for their own good, so it's no shock that they sound their best paying tribute to Hendrix on the Band of Gypsies classic "Machine Gun."

26.) Crippled Black Phoenix - A Love of Shared Disasters -- Mournful, dreary, doleful album which at times exhibits similarities to the bodies of work of Mogwai and Portishead (members of which are in CBP), with several gothy ballads mixed in here and there.  In most places the album works quite well (the proper songs, notably) but the unnecessary repetition of interludes "The Whistler" and "Long Cold Summer" and the clunky inclusion of a Tennyson poem set to music bloat it a bit. 

27.) Explosions in the Sky - All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone -- Overwrought?  Yes.  Gratuitous?  Hell yeah.  Maudlin?  Check.  Emo?  Um, sure, that too.  But make no mistake, this is a fine album, and it works a lot better than plenty of recent records by more highly respected denizens of the post-rock genre.  The music on this record mines its raw material from many heavy emotional sources; "It's Natural to Be Afraid" constructs an intricate latticework of impending dread, practically dissolving into abject darkness before giving way to delicate passages of hope and strident beauty.  "The Catastrophe and the Cure" emphasizes patience in times of trouble, with a (melo)dramatic, sublimely gentle climax seeing the listener through.  Unfortunately, the album ends with a whimper, as the new age tinkling of "So Long, Lonesome" sounds a bit too Weather Channel-y for these ears. 

28.) Los Straitjackets with Big Sandy - Rock En Espanol vol. 1 -- "America's instrumentalists" and surf rock torch-bearers Los Straitjackets have tried to find a way around the fact that the larger mass of the record buying public often has trouble digesting sizable swaths of vocal-less music: by hiring Tijuana crooner Big Sandy to sing Spanglish semi-translations of '50s/'60s rock classics, they've created a record with several curiously mixtape-worthy offerings.  Best song: the cover of the Kinks' "All Day and All of the Night," recast here as "El Dia de Noche."

29.) LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver -- Hmmm.  Beyond "All My Friends" and "North American Scum" (both of which are great), I'm not the biggest fan.  But those tracks alone are good enough to secure a decent ranking, though.

30.) Red Fang - Tour EP II -- loved these guys' live set opening up for the Fucking Champs   -- what you get here is some good ol' fashioned meat n' taters stoner metal.  Nuthin' fancy, just some mighty fine listening.  Not to mention the year's best bass solo in the middle of "Suicide." 

31.) Times New Viking - Paisley Reich -- Noisy, raw, kinda awesome punk shit with extremely lo-fi production values.  Seriously, this makes Bee Thousand-era Guided by Voices sound like it was produced by Rick Rubin in a 48 track digital studio.  The drums sound like garbage cans, the keyboards sound like guitars, the guitars sound like a circular saw vs. copper pipe in a steel cage death match, and the vocals sound just flat out fugly.  Enjoy!

32.) Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Jukebox Explosion --  A collection of random tracks culled from 7"s, compilations, and other out-of-print sources.  You know what yer gettin' here: grungy, sloppy riffs; delirious, crackhead-in-a-dumpster sound effects/assorted percussion; and Spencer's hellish, HomelessCrazyElvis vocals.  If I were into self-mutilation, I'm assuming this is the type of shit I'd like to listen to while pulling my own toenails out.

33.) Boris with Michio Kurihara - Rainbow -- second solid offering this year by these guys, and with another collaborator.  As Boris is seemingly devoted to exploring each n' every corner of LOUD music possible, it's important to note that Rainbow takes a step back from the doom/punk/thrash hybrid of Pink, with the band and guest guitarist Michio Kurihara visiting more subdued, subtle territory.  Personally, I never wanted to put the word "subdued" (or any like synonym) into a Boris review, and too many of the tracks wind up sounding new-agey and weak.  While it's impossible to tell what influence Kurihara had over these sessions, it's pretty safe to say that Boris without Kurihara is better than Boris with.  But fear not; in all likelihood this album doesn't signify any long-term deviation from great records like Akuma No Uta and Pink; knowing these guys, if you look hard enough you'll probably find that they've put out another ten or so import-only slabs of awesome within the last few weeks that you'll never get to hear.

34.) Deerhunter - Fluorescent Gray EP -- companion piece of leftover tracks from Cryptograms, this EP consists of one standout track, the noisy and cathartic "Wash Off" (arguably the band's best overall song) and a few tracks which, truth be told, are waaaay better live than on these studio versions.  Here "Dr. Glass" is wispy and weak; live it's a bass-heavy and groovy number, arguably the creepiest funk song I've ever heard.  The title track also benefits greatly from the live treatment.  Best song: Guess.

35.) BOAT - Let's Drag Our Feet -- What we have here is lo-fi indie pop largely bereft of guitar, with vocals by a guy (or guys) singing in a wobbly, bashful upper register typical of said indiepop genre.  Take it or leave it, but what saves BOAT from the dustbin of genericness is the nifty songwriting on this album, accompanied by clever, endearing lyrics ranging from bashful self-deprecation to humorous boasting to lovelorn sincerity to flat out goofiness.  Nice little record.  Best songs: 1.) "Make Way for the Genius to Appear," 2.) "Come with Me We'll Win," 3.) "I'm a Donkey for Your Love."

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EDIT: the second half of this list can be found here.   Merry Christmas to you all, and to all a good night.  Or should I say, "Feliz Navituddd!"