Tuddd's Muddd

7 Shows, 6 Days, 100+ Alcoholic Beverages, Edibles Galore, a Zip of Insane Upstate Outdoor, and Yes [drumroll pls], A FUCKING SPALDING. [PART I]

   

    [^heheheheh]

    So, recently, I attended 7 show in 6 days, as mentioned above.  Not too shabby a showing, if I do say so myself... in fact, that might actually be a personal record of some sort.  [On that tip, who th' fuck knows / cares.]  Over said 7 shows and 6 days, a ton of bands were seen (including Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Colin Stetson, Harvey Milk, Occultation, Fang Island, Hollerado, Monogold, Goes Cube, Austerity Program, Rosetta, Naam, Liquor Store, Wild Yaks), dangerous amounts of substances were consumed, acquaintances were renewed with old friends, and an unfair amount of fun was had.  Frankly, I have no clue how I managed to avoid getting really sick / throwing my back out / collapsing due to sheer exhaustion throughout this whole debacle because I'M REALLY FUCKING OLD.

    Anyway, deets onward: 

Goes Cube, Austerity Program, Rosetta and Naam at Studio at Webster Hall, Wednesday March 9, 2011

 

• Met up with my buddy Jimmy Dogshit for some booze (including appletinis, an unfortunate tradition of ours) and mediocre burgers at the Pour House.  Our waitress resembled a wholesomer version of British pornstar McKenzie Lee, whose work, coincidentally, I had, er, "enjoyed" just minutes before arriving at the Pour House.  SCHWING!
• Rolled up to Studio towards the end of Naam's set.  Wish I had more to report on these guys (because I've been told they're worthwhile), but sadly I don't.
• Rosetta was up next, and they underscored their reputation as being "the hardest band in the world to mic."  Their set at Santos in January opening up for Kylesa during one of the blizzards really converted me from "casual fan" to "ardent admirer who has no qualms shirking responsibilities to go out and see 'em on a random weeknight."  The sound sucked ass (I know, unusual for a Studio show) but the sweaty performance made up for it.
• Let me tell you, considering this was the first night of a planned HUGE fucking binge, you would think that I would've had the brains to actually take it easy on Night #1 instead of going balls to the wall.  But, as I have terrible judgment and generally do things ass-backwards, I wound up getting fucking SHITFACED.  Greyed out, and although I have no idea exactly how much booze I drank, I do know for a fact that I spent all $100 cash I had on me on booze at the show (mixed drinks were $6, beers were $4, and rock-bottom whiskey shots were also $4, so you do the fucking math), and wound up having to actually card my last two rock-bottom whiskey shots and beers.  And when I got home for some reason I had 7 empty plastic shot glasses in my pocket.  "THESE'LL COME IN HANDY!"  As mentioned earlier, a shabby performance by me this was not. 
• Austerity Program's set was next, and allow me to report (it ain't no secret): the house was thoroughly ROCKED.  They played the entirety of their fucking stellar EP from last year (#9 on last year's Best Albums list) as well as "Song 20" and... uhhhh... was that it?  Fuck, I don't remember, but let me tell ya, it sure makes for great drunken thrashing around.
• Goes Cube finished off the evening with exactly the type of skullfuckingly brutal performance that I've come to expect since I started seeing them live 5 years ago.  [Goddamn, how many times have I seen these guys live?  15?  20?  I'm not in Brooklyn at the time of this writing so I can't consult Tuddd Archives for the answer, but it's somewhere up there.  [edit: apparently it's 15 times, although that assumes that Tuddd Archives is actually accurate, which is highly unlikely.] Shee-itt.]  Anyway, their set drew liberally from what seemed like all of their most recent releases: 2009's Another Day Has Passed LP, last year's 7", the digital recording from Coextinction Recordings, and, of course, their forthcoming LP, In Tides and Drifts (which ain't out yet, but which, of course, I dorkily pre-ordered).  Since Goes Cube singer / guitarist David no longer lives in NYC, I was surprised at how insanely tight their set was, and the great sonics of the Studio space really highlighted Kenny's superb drumming and Matt's nimbly holding down the low end.  Obviously I'm a huge fan of these guys' music, and it was great to hear that this was the brand of fury they'd be truckin' down to SXSW.  RAWK.
• Anyway, tried to spit game with two Norwegian (uh, I think?) chicks post-show / failed miserably / wound up drinking Heinekens in the back of a cab during the ride home.  Woo Fucking Hoo.  Woke up the next morning with a head-splitting hangover (and a vexing case of bangover ta boot). 

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Liquor Store at Death by Audio, Thursday, March 10, 2011

 

Nuff.  Fucking.  Said.

Friday, March 11th: Monogold at Glasslands AND Fang Island at Bowery Ballroom.

--and--

 

    Two shows in one night?!?  Why, that's just FUCKING BONKERS!!!!! 

    Well, not really.  Actually it's more about the combination of lucky scheduling and way too much time on my hands than anything else.  But nonetheless, I'm not exactly sure when was the last time that I pulled off two shows in one day.  Hmmmm.  Possibly it might have been in September '06 when I saw Mastodon at Webster Hall early, then Comets on Fire at Knitting Factory late.  Not gonna lie, that was pretty fucking badass.  ('Twas a good day indeed.)  Anyhow, the way this night shook out, I already had tix for Fang Island at Bowery, but I figured out I'd check out Monogold's early opening set at Glasslands before heading in to Manhattan, knowing that Monogold would be setting out in the van and driving down towards South by Southwest literally the moment their set was over.  Good shit.

    I first saw Monogold's live show at their Public Assembly record release show in mid-January - holy shitballs are they a good band, and man, was that a fun night.  They have a "current"-ish Williamsburg indie pop sound without the gayness of The Pains of Being Pure at Heart or Grizzly Bear or whoever,  while creating well-crafted, tuneful music that makes the kids want to shake they shit.  I've also been enjoying the bejeezus out of their newest album, The Softest Glow, as a nice change of pace from the usual steady diet of Melvins>Sleep>Melvins>Sleep>Melvins>Sleep playlist that more often than not can be found blaring out of my car stereo. 

    Monogold's set on this night was great, as it was the first time I saw 'em.  Frankly, they're another band that proves that I Don't Know Jack Shit About What Makes Music Popular, because they should be fucking huge.  My personal favorites from the set were "Dead Sea Minerals" and "Ivory Tusk, Golden Teeth"... check below for studio versions of these two sick motherfuckin' jams:

 

 

    I wished the gents my best on their SXSW journey and basically ran the fuck out of Glasslands the moment their set was done, heading southward back to my apartment briefly to crush a couple bowls of dank.  Sadly, this brief (yet hyper-necessary) dalliance meant that I'd get to Bowery towards the end of opening band Hollerado's set, which I regretted; I'd seen them open up for (and blow away) Black Lips (who fucking blow) in this same room in September '07.  Anyway, by the time I stumbled into Bowery, Hollerado was in the middle of a positively rippin' jam based on ZZ Top's "La Grange," and they looked to be having a great fucking time... again, I wish I had made it there a bit earlier, goddamn it. 

    Snuck way up front amongst the assembled 12 year-olds for Fang Island's set.  Of course, I'm on record as being a Fang Island booster from way back in the day.  Don't believe me?  Here's a short, sweet, and to the the point list of accolades I've heaped on these guys:

• First time I saw them live, in December '08, I wrote a glowing review.  [Read that shit.]
• Second time I saw them live, in April '10 at Maxwell's, uhhhhh... looks like I didn't write them up or anything that time around, but my buddy Devin shot this video of "Daisy" at the show.  Honest Injun.
• When it came time compile a list of my favorite songs of oh ten, Fang Island scored the year's top slot, with an unprecendented *four* songs in the Top 25.  Impressive!
• And, as befitting an album with so many fantastic songs, Fang Island's Fang Island topped my "Best Albums of 2010" list.   

Right on cue, this night's Fang Island set did not disappoint.  In fact, my only real complaint about the previous two times I'd seen them -- sour vocals -- seems to have been largely remedied.  And the larger Bowery stage allowed the three guitarists to bust out some hilariously over the top ARENA RAWK stage moves.  The setlist consted of most of Fang Island (YAY!), with few older ones and one new one thrown in... I was hoping they'd have six Andrew W.K.s come out to reprise his glorious operatic vocal coda from "Patterns on the Wall" but alas it wasn't to be... but even without that highly unlikely occurrence going down, this was one of the finest sets that I've seen all year. 

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OK, dank-time.  I will try to get a post up about Saturday / Sunday / Monday's shows and goings on but I can't promise anything... heading to Costa Rica on Wednesday for what's sure to be the Douchiest Bachelor Party Ever With the Douchiest Group of Douches That Ever Douched.  Tuddd out.

 

Crocodiles at Glasslands, September 24, 2010

    Snagged a SAUCY!!!

    WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    So tonight began inauspiciously enough.  Having missed the Crocodiles' previous area appearance (at Mercury Lounge on Wednesday) due to my mom leaving a giant pile of needles on the floor and me stepping on said pile, thereby tearing a huge gash in my foot, I had low expectations for the evening.  A buddy of mine was supposed to come over and rock out to some Melvins bullshit as-per-uje while drinking beers and smoking bowls, but that didn't happen.  So I had little choice but to venture into the cruel, cold world and go to this bullshit show. 

    Before I left my apartment, I drank a forty of Colt 45 and a couple Coors tallbastardz, which had me in a miserable "FML" style mood.  Got to Glasslands during setbreak between the first band and the second band, and realized my pre-show worries were unfounded.  Said worries consisted of the following: "oh shit, one of those AnCo fudgepackers is DJing this show, so it's probably gonna be packed."  No, it wasn't.  

    Missed the first band entirely and the second band took for-fucking-ever to set up.  OK.  This is where this review becomes "hesitant."  Last time I saw a band anywhere near as bad as this band (and blog'd about it), it was the Beets.  And those crafty bastards got a MySpace quote out of that shit.  Seriously, check their MySpace on the left side of the page, under "sounds like."  I wrote that bad boy/yikes. 

    Not sure how else to put this... they were just <puking noise>.  To this point in my life, and I've seen literally hundreds upon hundreds of bands, I've always used Danielson as my measuring stick as far as "the worst band I've ever seen live," but FUCK THAT at least Danielson knew their parts.  This band encapsulated the absolute WORST of Brooklyn.  As much good as Todd P has spread, he really has to pay the motherfucking piper when it comes to encouraging terrible, faggoty, talentless, useless bands to take the stage before they even know how to tune their fucking instruments.  Bad art is, well, bad. 

    Anyway, this band had the typical Williamsburg bullshit going on.  They 1.) had no songs; 2.) had a stage filled with instruments that they had no idea how to play; 3.) said instruments included a bunch of homemade percussion bullshit and stupid cutesy ukelele nonsense presumably in order to make themselves seem "adorable," 4.) had a laptop computer pumping in backing tracks, without which they were totally lost; 5.) sucked ass big time (as if you couldn't tell that by my previous comments); 6.) took FOR FUCKING EVER between songs to retune their shitty sub-amateurish bullshit.  Anyway, as anyone who reads this blog (I'm lookin' at you, Bricer and Beafi) knows, I try my best to not talk too much shit about local shitty bands.  What's the point?  Nobody (ok, 3 people) reads this blog anyway, so it's not like I'm on some "cutting edge" of music reviewership.  But, in this instance (and I've thought this over for the last several hours), it would be simply irresponsible of me to not be this harsh. 

    As such, I was pretty fucking bitter.  I'm not pretending that I stuck around for their entire set.  Went outside to (dejectedly) smoke a butt.  A couple of mediocre hipster chicks were standing next to me, and I was ogling them something shameless, to the point where I was pretty close to warbling some half-assed bullshit in their general direction, but (while looking in my general direction) one of said hipster chicks said to the other, "you want to go sit across the street?"  The answer was a decided "yes," so it looks like I won't be hosting private after hours at my place tonight hahhhahahhahah.

    Stumbled back into Glasslands for what had to be my thousandth pissbreak.  I had read that since the last time I'd seen Crocodiles they'd gained a full backing band (last time I saw them in June '09 at Union Pool it was just the singer and guitarist jamming to a backing tape), so needless to say they took their sweet time setting up.  Whatever.  Drank a bunch more $4 Rolling Rock tall-boys and taxed some Jaeger during the interim.  

    Anyway, what to say about the Crocodiles set???  I love everything about this fucking band and I'm not afraid to say it.  According to iTunes, "I Wanna Kill" is my 4th most listened-to song ever [erm, since October 5th, 2008 when my computer crashed, rather], and that seems about right.  LOVE that song.  I've said this before and I'll say it again: if you don't get a fucking boner from that chorus, you can go fuck yourself. 

    OK.  About the Crocs' set.  I was pleased to see that singer Brandon Welchez still weighs about 80 pounds, because, face it, there's no fatties in hipsterville.  [*SOB*]  Plus newfound respect because I recently discovered that he's married to Kristin Gundred from Dum Dum Girls, who is both talented and super hot.  YOU GO, LO-FI GARAGE-POP SUPER COUPLE!!!  SMOOCHERS!!!!

    OK.  This is the third straight paragraph I've started with some variation of "so now I'm going to talk about the Crocs' set" and I'm finally determined to finally follow through here [third time's the charm].  But first, I have to describe their aesthetic: when I was trying to entice a buddy to see them earlier in the day, I described them as "Raveonettes without the hot chick," and, although that's an egregious oversimplification, due to Crocs/Raves mutual influences I'm okay with that description.  They started with a couple of OK-but-not-great ones from their new record before busting into some type of awesome segue (I think it was "Summer of Hate">"Hearts of Love," but I could be wrong).  They played several off the new album, including the fucking great "All My Hate and My Hexes Are For You" and "Mirrors," and closed the set with a triumphant "I Wanna Kill."  Fucking POIFECT. 

    Left the show with a big fucking smile on.  Still smiling at the time of this writing.  And that's what counts.  Tuddd out. 

Pretty much sums it up

from the Titus Andronicus/Vice/Colt 45 free show (with free Colt 45!) at Glasslands last night:

FREE BEER MAKE TUDDY HAAAAAAPPY

Right back in this motherfucker (sorta)

    Well, hello again.  A couple people (literally a couple, as in a grand total of two) have recently remarked to me that they've noticed said Muddd output has dwindled to virtually nil, and let me reassure (both of) you that it's not because I've stopped seeing shows, or lost my zeal for writing convoluted, snarky bullshit, or, like, died or something.  Actually I've just (finally) spent some quality time addressing my chronic joblessness.  Stay tuned on that front. 

    In lieu of adding any real content for now, however, allow me to share some videos from last weekend's Cheeseburger show at Glasslands.  Great show: it was the final stop on the band's Colt 45-sponsored US jaunt, and as such the free Colt 45 was flowing like so much assblood.  Delicious, free, intoxicating assblood.  Furthermore, it just so happens that in the following videos there are several appearances by yours truly, notably on all-too-brief (ha!) turns on guest vocals during "Money for the Heart" and "Derby Day," not to mention about midway through "Easy Street" when the singer from Violent Bullshit/Panthers nearly knocked me out cold with an unexpected stage dive. 

    Having watched these videos myself, a few peremptory remarks:

• I'm a bit of a mic hog.  Particularly cringe-worthy is towards the end of "Money for the Heart" when I'm all but yanking the mic from the singer's hand.
• I must have been pretty fucking fucked up not to have noticed that the person who was filming the show was apparently standing LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO ME ALL NIGHT.  
• Along those lines, it's fortunate that the camera didn't catch my buddy doing key-bumps while standing in the middle of the mosh pit.  Close one!
• The video doesn't really manage to capture the insane amount of beer that was flying through the air during the show.  Seriously, I'm pretty sure people were double-fisting just for the sake of having at least one beer to throw at all times.
• My head is truly an odd shape.  And although I've lost nearly 40 pounds, suffice it to say that I've got quite a ways to go.  Sigh.

    Blah blah blah.  Here ya go.

   

Derby Day

   

Money for the Heart

   

Easy Street

(If you check out the Related Videos sidebars, you can see videos from the entire show, including several unreleased songs, each of which live up to Cheeseburger's previously-established lofty standards of raucous, rowdy, loud, fuckin' awesome party jams.  Check'emout.)

(Also, this wasn't the first time I was captured lending my own unique brand of tone-deaf belching to a Cheeseburger show and it was captured on film.  Here's the damning, godawful proof.  Till next time, Tuddd out.)      

Used to Be Women, December 1st, 2006, Glasslands

    My first introduction to Used to Be Women came about 5-1/2 months ago when I saw them at Mercury Lounge as the first band on the bill supporting Howlin' Rain, a side project headed by Comets on Fire frontman Ethan Miller.  Upon entering Mercury Lounge, I could hear what sounded like a Stones bootleg being blasted at a deafening volume from the enclosed stage room, which, of course, turned out to be these guys.  Sadly, there were less than ten people in attendance during their set, which I believe had been pushed up to accomodate one of the two terrible bands that followed them.  A shame, because they were the best band of the night, headliner included.  Rockin' riffs and solid tunes aside, it was pretty obvious that their singer had to work a bit on his stage moves, which at the time consisted solely of repeatedly "testifyin'" with his left hand held out to the side.  Of course, I have quite a sizeable soft spot for underdog opening bands, so I was immediately smitten.  A couple weeks later I got stoned and fantasized about starting my own record label basically just so I could hear what they'd sound like on record.

    Unable to find even the tiniest scrap of information about them until they put up a MySpace page several months later, I kept my eyes peeled for UtBW shows; periodically I'd see something come across at OhMyRockness, but for some reason I seemed to keep coming up with excuses, be they coincidental (seeing another show the same night), physical (back/knee pain), chemical (too stoned) or vaginal (too lazy).  But this week, seeing as I'm in a bit of a show-going slump lately (nothing since Bobby Bare Jr. on 11-17!) and I'm on my quest to average over one show per week this calendar year, I finally got off my fat ass to see these guys again.

    First some description of the "venue": Glasslands is a small, underground-ish club in Brooklyn, situtated up against the East River.  There are no markings announcing its existence anywhere outside, no numbers, no nuthin', so I actually walked right past the fuckin' place on my first pass down the block.  After finally figuring out which random door to walk through, I found myself in what looked to have formerly been an artists' loft, which, what with rent prices skyrocketing in Williamsburg/surrounding area, probably isn't actually affordable to an actual "artist" anymore.  Paid $6 to get in, and the door guy gave me change out of his wallet, which was somewhat endearing.  Bar was stocked with a few booze bottles (including a plastic bottle of Barton's), a keg and $3 High Life cans, but it became plainly obvious as the night went on that BYOB was also allowed: many attendees were drinking forties out of paper bags, not to mention puffing butts.  The space was decorated with all kinds of hipster bric-a-brac, random slogans spraypainted here and there, and a room devoted to displaying mixed media art in the back.  An open upstairs area with several rooms and a balcony provided plenty of "walking around" space for those less self-conscious -- and crippled -- than myself.  All in all a very cool little performance space, and just exactly the type of place that makes me secretly hope I get fired from my job so I can move to Brooklyn and go back to alcoholism.

    Anyway, when I arrived a little after 8 (the advertised start time) I immediately recognized the Used to Be Women singer and one of the guitarists.  Drank a couple of High Lifes and kept to myself, which... let's just say I'm sure that it's pretty tough for someone of my size/shape to feel inconspicuous when I'm easily outweighing everyone in the room by a good bill.

    The opening bands were terrible, and this is coming from someone who has a severe fetish for music I've never heard before.  The first band sounded like some shit you'd hear at a junior high talent show, although I must say their singer was friggin' hot.  One of their guitarists was the most rhythmically challenged musician I've ever seen on a stage of any kind.  But they were infinitely better than the second "band," who seemed to spend more time engaging in utterly retarded stage banter (and, at one point, letting an audience member toy around on the drum set) than they did churning out their dull, uninspired drones.

    Fortunately, Used to Be Women did rock the house.  By the time they started their set, the room was fairly full -- I'd guesstimate about 80 people total, most of whom were visibly very intoxicated.  I envied them all, considering I was probably the only schmuck that actually drove in from Long Island, because this would have been the ideal show to get really hammered at, then stumble back to my fictional apartment and do fat rails.  Sigh.  But I digress.  UtBW have added a third guitarist since I last saw them, and severely decreased the role of the rhythm guitarist, who had sort of served as de facto band spokesman when I'd seen them previously.  I recognized a couple of the songs, notably the "can I put my legs over your shoulders/goddamn it baby that's the ticket now" and the "it eats me" ones.  The frontman didn't confine himself to the small stage, which was already jam-packed with the three guitarists/bassist/drummer, instead singlehandedly filling in the textbook NYC "Circle of Shame" left empty at the front of the stage with manic gesticulations and gyrations.  The improved stage presence and seeming lack of contrivance/pretension in his wild movements made for a more festive atmosphere even if, oddly, it seemed as though the borderline-incompetent first band had received a warmer crowd reception.

    Musically, the obvious touchstones are The Rolling Stones (due not just to the singer's faithful approximation of Mick Jagger's but their chosen guitar tones) and probably The Stooges, if only because UtBW also originally hail from Michigan and it's a convenient comparison to make.  Instrumentally, the band's MVP is the handlebar moustachioed lead guitarist, who really got into playing and nearly matched the frontman for charisma and energy.  Yup, these guys perform some genuine toe-tappers and head-nodders, and I'd highly recommend seeing them if you get a chance.  I've got Dino Jr. tonight, as well as Chavez, Gogol Bordello and Bouncing Souls in the upcoming weeks before '07 starts, but I'd wager that when all is said and done, UtBW at Glasslands will end up being as memorable as any of 'em.