Tuddd's Muddd

CMJ Tuesday: Cheeseburger at Red Bull Space, October 21st, 2008

  

    Well, it's afternoon so it's probably time for me to finally peel myself off my still-sopping wet mattress and commit what I remember about last night to these here intarwebz.  Should I be concerned that for some reason I'm shaking like a goddamn leaf?  Meh.  I've decided I'm going to do this one in bullet points for a few reasons; mainly that I'm still pretty trashed and judging by the two phone conversations I've had thus far today, I'm pretty much incapable of communicating in actual paragraphs.  Here goes. 

• So the evening got off to a saucy start when I got a ticket for smoking a cigarette on an outdoor subway platform where no "No Smoking" signs are posted.  Of course, I had weed on me so I was super polite to the cops, thanking them for giving me the ticket and imploring them to "have a good one" and "be safe."  $50 ticket/shitballs.
• The moment I walked up to the venue I could tell that security was going to be a big fucking problem.  Bunch of overzealous meathead off-duty cop retards.  The guy at the door implied that I had to be on "the list" to get in which (thankfully) turned out to be an absolute crock of shit.
• The venue itself is a kinda posh-ish, with most of the furnishings (big couches, soft sitty thingies) were white.  Apparently it's a tax write-off so Red Bull execs can impress chicks and get handjobs.
• Uh, they were serving FREE BEER, of which I had at least 10 before Cheeseburger's set.  (I know this because I kept tipping a buck with each beer so I had a decent idea of how much beverage was making it's way down my throat before it all went black.)  Needless to say, things got sloppy awful quick.
• Apparently I missed the first band, Gringo Starr, and the second band (Wild Light) wasn't awful but they were kind of gay-ish.  I vaguely remember thinking "these guys sound like the Killers" but fuck it, I'm too lazy to investigate any further.
• While I was waiting for my pal Sluggo to show up, the band recognized me from across the room and called me over to hang for a bit.  When I introduced myself as "Tuddd" (natch) they misheard it and called me "Tug" and "Tub" for awhile, which I found pretty hilarious.  Come to think of it, Tubbb has a pretty good ring to it, no?
• The band mentioned to me that they hadn't told their rowdy friends to come to this show, instead suggesting that they make it out to their Friday show.  Fortunately there were a few blacked out retards (including myself) that made things wacky.
• Cheeseburger's set was fucking awesome as usual.  I remember them opening up with "Let the Good Times Roll" and I remember being handed the mic for a few songs ("Derby Day," "Jellybean") but the whole fucking scene was pretty fuzzy.  I've seen these guys a ton of times, and the accounts here or here or here are probably better-detailed than anything I'm capable of in my current sorry state. 
• I didn't want to leave the front of the stage to make trips to the bar, so I wound up just asking people if I could drink their beers, please.  I drank at least another 10-15 beers using this method. 
• The rowdiest guy in the crowd ran onstage several times to attack Joe, the singer.  Security warned him.  Later, when I asked the guy if I could drink his beers he poured both of them into my eager mouth, soaking me through the three layers I was wearing.  Security warned us both to cool it or we'd get kicked out, advice which I heeded.  The other guy, not so much: mere seconds later the guy jumped off the stage onto me, riding me around piggy back style until security yanked him off my back and threw him down the stairs. 
• Eventually I got kicked out during the final song of the set, although I really don't remember what the straw was that broke the camel's back on that one.  I'm guessing it had to do with me grabbing the mic. 
• I met up with rowdy guy and his friends outside, and we plotted a "special delivery" although they eventually got sick of waiting and took off.  By the time I got back from the ATM, Cheeseburger was unloading their gear and long story short wound up partying with them for awhile, which was fucking fun.  Some of us wound up at a basement bar somewhere in the West Village (I think) where I was charged $68 for two beers and four shots of Patron.  Good bunch of dudes although the obsessive level of my supergeek fandom probably creeped them out a bit.
• Oh yeah, apparently their new record will be out in March.  FUCK YEAH to that. 
• Wound up cabbing it home around 3 AM.
• As was intimated earlier, I definitely didn't not piss my bed.

So yeah, I'm taking tonight off from CMJ although I've got Magnetic Fields tomorrow night somewhere in Jersey, after which hopefully I can catch Cheeseburger late night and the same shit can happen all over again.  Tuddd out (for now).

The Ten Most Annoying People I Met at Concerts 2007 (list #10)

    Well, it's getting to be that time of year again.  What time of year might that be, you ask?  That would be the time of the year where I'm procrastinating on finishing my year-end Best of Albums list and wasting time working on another less difficult but equally pointless and moronic list in its stead.

    This year I've seen upwards of 70 concerts, and while NYC crowds are generally the "too cool for school" type, I still managed to come across a fairly representative cross-section of overbearing dickheads along the way.  Last year I put up a similar list  and due to popular demand and overwhelming requests (okay, one person), I've decided to reprise the idea this year.  So, to paraphrase John Cougar Mellencamp, sink your teeth into my misfortune. 

The Ten Biggest Assholes I Encountered at Concerts in 2007

10.) "'No Bones' biggest fan.  Ever" at Dinosaur Jr., June 7th, Irving Plaza -- Now, more often than not, there are two things that really get my balls in a vice when I'm at shows: 1.) fat, sweaty dudes who continually elbow me during a crowded show in order to improve their position in the crowd, and 2.) cockgobblers who repeatedly yell the same unlikely song request over and over and over throughout an entire set.  With these criteria in mind, you could say that this guy had it all.  As if the constant elbowing wasn't enough to really push my buttons, his apparent life-or-death need to hear the song "No Bones" only augmented my misery.  Now, most "song requesters" usually wait until the band has actually completed the song they're playing before starting up with the shouting; not this guy, who screamed "NO BONES!  C'MON, MAN, PLAY NO BONES!" while the band was still in the middle of playing other songs.  Over and over and over again.  I had never seen that before.  To be sure, it's not that I don't enjoy the song "No Bones."  "No Bones" is a fine song.  But fortunately due to the world of internet geekery, a simple search at the Dinosaur Jr. fansite freesofree.net allows me to check how often the band has actually played the song "No Bones" in 2007 And you guessed it, the answer is zero times.  I'd like to think this guy actually got on the band's nerves enough to cause that, although I guess that's unlikely.

9.) "Not-clever innuendo guy" at Nicole Atkins, October 10th at Southpaw -- Another pet peeve of mine is "sex euphemism guy."  There was an article about this on the Onion a few years ago, so I'm not being original here, but let me explain with a hypothetical situation. Your friend from work, who's a girl, goes away for a two-week vacation, and asks you to water her plants while she's gone.  One day, noticing her absence, your douchey coworker inquires as to her whereabouts.  You reply, "oh, she's in Puerto Rico with her boyfriend.  She asked me to water her plants while she's gone."  Said douchey coworker replies: "Huh huh huh.  I'd like to water her plants."  Steam shoots out your ears and your life expectancy drops by 2 1/2 years.  So it goes.

    (Side note: Before I walked out on my pointless, ungratifying job last May, my semi-literate, knuckle-dragging boss let fly a ripe one, when referring to the secretary: "I'd like to rearrange her files."  This poorly-thought out comment resulted in the first time I'd ever used the phrase "get the fuck out of my office," and to my boss no less.) 

    Anyway, I was watching Nicole Atkins' set opening up for the Raveonettes a couple months ago and the douchey, popped-collar dickheads next to me spat out the following:
Douche #1 "Hey, what's the name of this song?"
Douche #2 "I think it's called Wrecking Ball."
Douche #1 "Huh huh huh.  I'd like to wreck her ball."
Douches #1 and #2 "Huh huh huh huh.

8.) "He Who Cracked First," opening act for Damo Suzuki (can't remember the guy's name), October 28th at the Knitting Factory --  I don't remember the name of this opening act, it was a guy who looked to be in his 60s wearing a lime green turtleneck, and in a nutshell his set consisted of basically repeating two chords on a reverbed violin over and over and over. Bronnnnnnnnnnnnng.  Brannnnnnnnnnng.   
Bronnnnnnnnng.  Brannnnnnnnng.  For 45 minutes.  Of course, this nearly drove me to the point of madness, and I had no choice other than to sit down on the floor, close my eyes, and begin rocking back and forth like a retarded person.  When in Rome, right?  What followed I really can't describe, but let's just say that this situation put me the closest I've ever been to achieving a meditative state, except instead of visualizing my "happy place," visions of eternal hellfire and brimstone flooded my mind.  Pretty f'd up, no?  After about a half hour of this, something broke through my defense mechanism-induced trance: a well dressed man, also appearing to be in his 60s, screaming "STOP IT!  STOP IT!  YOU'RE TERRIBLE!  GET OFF THE STAGE!" from a few feet behind me, and to the left.  For some reason, although I agreed wholeheartedly with the guy, this terrified me even further.

7.) "Karen O" at Deerhunter, April 26th at Mercury Lounge -- The first time I saw Deerhunter this year, I went into the show having heard that their live shows were transcendent but I was obviously eager to see for myself how they'd pull off the complex textural weirdness of Cryptograms.  I got there early and positioned myself at the very front of the stage, centered, so as to get the best overall view.  Before Deerhunter came on, I noticed that a tiny Asian girl was behind me with her equally diminutive boyfriend, and I felt sorry for them having to stand behind my  gargantuan, stage-eclipsing oaf of a self.  About midway through the set, I suddenly noticed streams of beer being shot at the stage from directly behind me, much of which was splattering all over my right shoulder and ear.  Needless to say, I felt less sorry for the tiny Asian girl, thinking "what a cunt."  Shortly, however, I noticed someone trying to elbow her way in front of me... long story short, it wasn't the tiny Asian girl at all but Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, so, soaking wet and  somewhat stunned, I let her pass.  Again, I've experienced any number of tactics at the hands of people who are trying to get in front of me at shows, but I have to say this was pretty clever.

6.) "BJ" at Z-Trip, October 19th at Studio B -- 9 of my friends attended this show.  Now, to set the scene, my pathetic attempts at "organizing" the evening had left me a nervous wreck; my dealer was late with the ecstacy, meaning I was standing outside pacing up and down Second Ave for nearly an hour while my friends were inside enjoying a delicious meal.  Then, we realized nobody knew how to get to Studio B by train from downtown Manhattan.  Then, the cabbie drops us off at Meserole St. in Brooklyn instead of Meserole Ave (the two are 2 miles apart), which... yeah.

       When we finally got to Greenpoint, a couple of my friends began screaming at each other, which, of course, solved nothing.  Then, when we finally got to the show, I noticed that literally everyone in front of the line had brought TicketNow printouts, of which I had none.  While I thought that I had ordered will call tickets, my head was pretty much spinning, and I began worrying that we weren't going to be able to get in.  Immediately upon entering the venue, I threw down a pill of what turned out to be the dopiest ecstacy ever, which combined with the evening's cumulative stress (and, presumably, the fact that I hadn't rolled in over 3 years) had me retreating into an anti-social shell with absolutely no desire to listen to the music.  I sat outside chainsmoking for the remainder of the show, sweating profusely, with my eyes closed.  Don't believe me?  Here's a picture.  [edit: picture removed.  Anonymity is ideal]

    Anyway, periodically, I'd hear my friends come outside to smoke a butt or two; eventually I heard my buddy, who we'll call "BJ," and who is the proud owner of a cock ring, come outside, and from what I could tell, he was eagerly showing said bejeweled appendage to anyone and everyone that was assembled outside Studio B whether they liked it or not.  He walked up to me and I headed him off by threatening to rip the thing out if he showed it to me.  I don't know, maybe I was a bit out of line on that one.

5.) "Grabby Gus" at Slayer, February 15th at Hammestein Ballroom -- as I've mentioned before on this blog, Slayer fans are a saucy bunch.  Having been to tons of metal/punk shows throughout the years, and due to my confusing predilection for standing waaaaaay up front, I come into the concertgoing experience basically expecting to get kicked in the back of the head countless times by crowdsurfers.  Only, at Slayer shows, the crowdsurfers are not of the "just happy to be here/if only mommie could see me now/WHEEEEEE" type that you see at, say, a Weezer show, but more of the "violently trying to bring harm to everyone over whom I pass" type.  Let me introduce you to "Grabby Gus," or, as my first draft of this list referred to him, "Guy Who Nearly Ripped My Scalp And Ear Off While Somehow Simultaneously Kicking The Fuck Out Of Me With Steel Toe Combat Boots."

4.) "Security guy" at Social Distortion, July 25th at Mulcahy's -- Yes, I know that I'm bending the rules a bit here since everyone else so far has been a crowd member, but this guy fucked my shit up so bad that I simply have to include him.  Of course, I was crammed against the stage barrier as usual, so fundamentally I have only myself to blame for the following.  Early in the set, a crowdsurfer was passing over me violently kicking and screaming.  Security guy reaches out trying to grab his foot, but misses, instead grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking it out.  Pretty painful.  He actually apologized, which in my experience is a first for security guys at punk shows.

    Later in the show, another crowd surfer was passing over me and kicked me in the back of the head, sending my expensive-ass titanium rim glasses flying over the barrier.  Now, I was 99% sure that they had landed at the security guy's feet, so I alerted him: "hey, would you mind checking to see if my glasses are at your feet?"   He gave a millisecond glance before declaring, "no, haven't seen 'em."  Of course, long story short, post-show I walked around the back of the barrier only to find my glasses had been stomped into a bizarre trapezoidal shape and completely crushed at the exact point where the security guy had been standing. FUCK!!

3.) "Rapey" at Social Distortion, July 25th at Mulcahy's -- I'll keep this one brief, because frankly I don't enjoy thinking about it.  The Social D show was filled with drunken hooligans; one such lout was being particularly rough with a woman to my right, grabbing and pulling at her in order to try to get in front and closer to the stage.  She protested, telling him to get his hands off her.  Without batting an eyelash, the guy responded, "shut up you dumb bitch before I rape you."  Shudder.  Stay classy, Long Island!

2.) "The crowd in general" at Atakke, October 1st at Don Pedro's -- Atakke's singer was late so the crowd was getting ornery while waiting for their set to begin.  People were killing the time by double-fisting PBRs, and combine that with the lack of air conditioning/ventilation, it was getting pretty ripe around the stage.  The tension was high.  As Atakke started up, blasting into their set at a billion miles an hour, the wheelchair-bound fan who was next to me was upended by a gaggle of particularly overzealous/drunk moshers, and dumped out of said chair onto the middle of the floor where people were slamming into each other with force and aggression the likes of which I've rarely seen.  Now, while this was pretty fucked up, the truly fucked up part of this is that a large percentage of the crowd saw this happen but most made no attempt to help the guy up; one bald leather jacketed dude even heckled him.  Yikes. 

1.) "Pushy wide-ass shitcunt" at Gil Mantera's Party Dream, January 13th -- I had the displeasure of having this worthless bitch over my left shoulder for the majority of the opening acts' sets and throughout the pre-Gil Mantera setbreak.  Of course, I was standing front row center, just like always, and she clearly wasn't enjoying the view from behind me.  Several times during opening band Free Blood's set she tried to pull me away from my prized spot and elbow me behind her.  Finally, during the setbreak, she got REALLY annoying, repeatedly pestering me with horseshit reasons why I should let her stand in front of me.  This included offering me free reign to play with her tits during the show.  Now, normally, this would obviously be a fantastic offer I'd willingly accept, but she was with her boyfriend and call me a prude but I derive no pleasure from feeling some random chick up in front of her sig other unless I'm hammered, which I definitely wasn't.  Plus (and perhaps most importantly) she wasn't exactly my cup of tea.  Pinched, evil Eastern European face that would have made her a good villainess in an 80's Bond flick.  ("Vee have vays of making you talk, Comrade Bond <<dramatic cigarette pull>>.")  Over and over I brushed off her "generous" offer and tried to ignore her, but GODDAMN was she persistent.  Eventually I tried the pussy route out, mentioning my constant back pain and trying to reason with her that I need to lean on the stage to support my back.  Of course, I wanted to mention to her that since her ass was approximately the size of a hot dog cart, she shouldn't have any trouble  "boxing people out" Charles Barkley-style and clearing ample space from which to view the show.  But alas I took the high road on that one.

    Okay.  Eventually when the Party Dream came onstage this spoiled whore's mode of communication morphed from verbal to physical -- lots of pinching, scratching and assorted unnecessary jostling, all directed at my back and meaty flanks.  And, of course, eventually she took advantage of a none-too-rare "Tuddd dancing off-balance" moment to claw her way in front of me, securing a spot at the front of the stage.  What I wasn't expecting, however, was that she'd instantly flop onstage, assaulting Ultimate Donny in an amusing display of White Trash affection, rolling around with him and cramming her AIDSy tongue down his throat.  Hilarious in a "cant turn your head from the trainwreck" way.

    Furthermore, what I really wasn't expecting was that the instant she got offstage she began denying the incident ever happened when confronted by her boyfriend.  "What are you talking about?  I didn't kiss him!"  Uh, riiiiiight.  If you're going to commit facerape (pronounced FAH-chay RAH-pay) and expect to get away with it, best not to do it ONSTAGE IN FRONT OF A FULL ROOM OF ONLOOKERS THAT INCLUDES YOUR BOYFRIEND.  Retard.

    Shortly (and predictably), she turned into a slobbering/sobbing drunken mess and thankfully disappeared, along with her boyfriend, presumably to throw herself in front of an oncoming bus (or so I fantasized).  I felt a bit bad for the guy because he seemed to be a legit fan, singing along with all the lyrics from the first couple of songs.  Meh, fuck 'im.

    Anyway, this has gone on long enough.  In closing let me mention that in second place for the evening's Annoying Fan crown was "Overagressive Solo Crowdsurfing Moron Who Kicked Me in the Face."  You really have to hand it to "Pushy Wide-ass Shitcunt," though.  How often is it that someone kicks you in the face at a show and they wind up being only the second biggest asshole you meet? 

CMJ Wednesday, October 17th at Bowery Ballroom: Deerhunter with Dan Deacon and No Age (with pictures! Yippee!)

    If, by some cruel twist of fate, Arcade Fire had somehow never managed to form, 2007 would definitely have to be considered the year of Deerhunter.  Their Cryptograms album ranks second on my best-of albums list so far this year, and their show at Mercury Lounge in April is topped only by the Arcade Fire-curated Randalls Island mini-indiepalooza and Radio City night two in May, featuring -- you guessed it -- Arcade Fire. 

    Of course, back in April I had no idea what Deerhunter's stage show would be like, and the blank slate approach was the best way to be introduced to them (as it usually is for anybody).  On the way out of Mercury Lounge that night, it was impossible not to notice that virtually everyone had been deeply moved by their intensity and shocked by their raw presentation.  Since then, they've decided to abandon some of the more gimmicky stuff (no more sundresses or paint pellets and decidedly much less of frontman Bradford Cox physically abusing his bandmates).  Which makes sense-- they're still a visually striking band without driving the ol' tricks into the ground ad nauseum. 

    We arrived at Bowery fairly early (considering Deerhunter weren't slated to go on until midnight), but the first band we actually paid attention to were No Age, an energetically garagey guitar/drums duo.  Think a more lo-fi Death From Above 1979, if that helps.  The crowd seemed to dig their righteous instrument-pummeling, as did I, and at the end of their set they pulled some kids onstage to thrash along with them even handing the guitar over to one of said crowdmembers for the majority of the final song.  We were about halfway back in the crowd and my attempts at snapping a few shots of No Age came out pretty fuzzy, thanks in part to my crappy camera.  But since I'm in a good mood, I'm going to go with "wow, fuckballs, these pics really captured the band's infectious effervescence."  Or something else equally atarded.

                                     

    Up next was Baltimore's weirdo-electronica maven, Dan Deacon.  I snuck up front with the intention of snapping some primo pictures but realized shortly that he was setting up at the front of the crowd, and not onstage.  Before he began the set he wisely announced that those with cameras could get up onstage so that he could be surrounded by folks who wanted to dance their tits off and I dutifully belly-flopped my way up onto Bowery's stage.

    I totally dug his frenetic style and the homemade aspect of his entire setup, as well as his creative methods of crowd control-- starting with Diplo (who was in attendance) he sent crowd members on a relay race of sorts through the center of the floor, up and around the Bowery balcony, ending up down on the floor.  Tag, you're it!  At the end of the set he handed out lyric sheets to the song "Wham City," an ode to the artist's collective where he lives in Baltimore (last picture, bottom right).  Awesome sweaty  fun set.

 

    Deerhunter took the stage at about half past midnight.  Frontman Bradford Cox mentioned that he had asked to play *before* Dan Deacon because attempting to follow his manic set is a formidable task.  They started with a new song, "Cavalry" something or other (very pretty; is this an Atlas Sound track?) before going into "Intro"/"Cryptogram."  It was fascinating to hear that many of the songs have undergone dramatic rearrangements, which only makes sense because the band has been touring behind the same group of songs pretty much all year.  Most notably, drummer Moses Archuleta's playing has really improved, as especially evident on the now breakneck-paced "Wash Off."  Also, Dr. Glass is now pretty much a bass-led funk song, and "Octet" is now less Floyd-y and more ferocious than the album version.

    On their second swing through New York in July, at Bowery an elegantly wasted Cox ended their set by coming onstage alone and rambling semi-coherently about topics ranging from his childhood, family, sexuality, and bloggers.  Then shit got really weird when he invited a friend onstage to hop around and sing a Germs song.  The rest of the band did not reappear save the drummer's futile attempts at getting Cox the fuck off the stage.  This bizarre-yet-oddly-hilarious incident was humorously alluded to several times by the band cutting him off whenever he'd breach a new tangent. 

    They finished the final song of their encore ("Fluorescent Gray") at about 1:30 and the exhausted crowd stumbled out onto Delancey.  I had thrown my back out something fierce, my voice was hoarse, and my legs were fucking killing me.  CMJ rules.

Cheeseburger with Juicebox at Galapagos, October 16th 2007 (with pictures!)

   

   

Will Cheeseburger ever put on a bad show?  Do they even know how?  Even though they didn't take the stage until about 1 AM last night, it was well worth the wait. 

    After being introduced by the legendary Zach Richards, they kicked out most of the hits ("Gangs All Here," "Easy Street," "Good Times Roll," "Derby Day," "Tiger," "Do You Remember") along with a few new ones ("Suzie," "Tight Jeans," another one whose name I can't remember) and a ramshackle version of "Louie Louie."  Also present were gummi cheeseburger-filled pinatas flying through the air and conking people on the head, silly string, several attempts by crowd members to sabotage the drumkit, band-audience tackling, and a couple of brief appearances from the Budweiser skirt-clad beermaid that was at the recent MHoW show, and a shitload of spilled/thrown beer.

    Of course, with last night being the first night of CMJ I could have gone to any number of promising shows but why bother when you know Cheeseburger's going to always pay off. 

 

 

 

    I'd be a complete dick if I didn't mention the act that directly preceded the mighty Cheeseburger: some dude named Juicebox ("from Milwaukee, Wisconsin," as he reminded us many times) who spat out Technotronic-esque rhymes over Technotronic-esque beats.  (Think either "Shake that Body" or "Pump Up the Jam.")  Lots of shit about "getting part[ies] started" and "[having] a one way ticket" with the occasional chorus about "sweat from [his] balls."  But the guy's stage antics were fucking hilarious -- he headbutted me in the face pretty hard, climbed on/jumped off the bar, fell over (what appeared to be) very painfully several times, writhed on the floor, and in his best move of the evening jumped on some dude's back riding him around for awhile as the guy he was riding panicked and tried to shake him free.  Fucking hilarious, and Juicebox never allowed the chaos he was causing to break his steady flow.  (I tried to get some good pics of this guy but only came away with these two because he was constantly climbing, jumping off and dry-humping something new every half-second.)

 

Still yet more good shows, Oct 14-20

    Wow, a couple of much bigger blogsites linked the past days' show listings and obviously hits went through the roof (i.e. from none to a few), which is cool.  I saw a highly entertaining Bad Religion show last night and if I get time I'll post a review.  Here goes...

October 19th

Show: MSTRKRFT and Z-Trip at Studio B
Why I'm going: Well, all of my friends seem to enjoy this mashup bullshit.  I personally think it's kinda artless; I mean when Greg Gillis said that for him everything starts with figuring out the BPM of a bunch of songs and that that's largely the basis for his mashups.... just sounds kinda random and hack-y.  Plus I derive no pleasure from hearing some R+B chick croon over the "Sweet Child O'Mine" riff.  Why not just put on Appetite?  But whatever, I've bought 8 tickets for this show, all of which are accounted for, and friends are coming in from DC, Boston and New Haven to see it.  Hopefully we'll get some good drugs and I'll enjoy it.  But hot damn do I wish I were seeing Hull instead. 

Show: Hull with a lot of other bands at Club Midway.
Why I'm not going: well, see directly above.  I've written about Hull a few times, with concert reviews here (towards the bottom) and here (fourth paragraph in) and suffice it to say I really dig these guys.  Clocking in at nearly 17 minutes, "Viking Funeral" is probably the best "song" (slash album side) of the year.  If you have even a passing interest in brutal, pummeling, meat-n-taters metal, checkemout. 

Show: Atlas Sound with Dragons of Zynth, Turbo Fruits and others
Why I'm not going: well, it's an early show, but apparently it's an "invite only" Fader party.  Atlas Sound is Deerhunter frontman Bradford Cox's side project -- check out their MySpace page here.

Show: All day extravaganza at Galapagos, featuring (most notably) A Place to Bury Strangers and Jay Reatard, but tons of other bands.
Why I'm not going: hmmm, it's an all-day show, maybe I can still hit this up.  A Place to Bury Strangers are playing roughly 14,000 shows during CMJ, so sneak over to Galapagos.  And if you like your punk rock melodic, fast and furious, you'll dig Jay Reatard.

Show: O'Death at Union Pool
Why I'm not going: I really like O'Death , and I love how they're able to turn a roomful of hipsters into a moonshine-fueled hootenanny.  Alas, can't make this one-- I'll be at dinner with said visiting friends.

October 20th

Show: Goes Cube at Club Midway
Why I'm not going: Friends are in town, none of whom are interested in the "skullfuckingly awesome" crunch of Goes Cube.  Boo friends. 

Show: Jesu with Torche at Gramercy Theater
Why I'm not going: Well, if my friends can't handle Goes Cube, then there's no way they'll be able to deal with Torche or Jesu.  God fucking dammit I wish I were going to this one -- never seen Jesu live but I saw Torche opening up for Mogwai last year at Webster Hall and they were brilliant.

Show: A Place to Bury Strangers at The Delancey
Why I'm not going: Again, not going to be able to interest anyone in this, which is a shame.    

More good shows, Oct 14-21

    If yer lookin' for my listings for Oct 14-16, go here.  Below are shows for the 17th and 18th -- I'll finish the weekly roundup when I get a chance tomorrow.  Goddamn it I'm starting to wish my friends had chosen a different weekend to come up because there's no way I'm going to drag them to all the CMJ shit I want to see.  Boo fucking hoo. 

October 17th

Show: Deerhunter with Dan Deacon at Bowery Ballroom
Why I'm going: Deerhunter's live show is fantastic-- to date their show at Mercury Lounge in April rates as the third best concert I've seen this year (out of 60+).  Of course, a few bizarre non-music-related incidents at that show really makes it stick out in my memory: 1.) Karen O spitting beer all over me from behind (I was standing against the stage at the very front row).  Eventually she elbowed her way in front of me and briefly guest-sang on a song or two.  My halfhearted attempts at grinding with her were nonchalantly rebuffed.  2.) Deerhunter's bass player reached down and gently removed my glasses from my face, donning them for awhile during the set.  Eventually he returned them saying that "they're too big for me, I don't want to break them" which of course is an extremely polite way of saying "dude, your head is fucking huge."  3.) Shook hands with David Cross after the show.  He was visibly blown away by the powerful performance we'd both just beheld.  Or maybe he was on drugs.  Yeah, that's it, on drugs!  (Come to Tuddd's Muddd for all your marginal celebrity dish!) Saw them in July at Bowery, too, and even though it wasn't as absurdly transcendent as the first time, it was easily worth the price of admission.  Believe the hype; Cryptograms is one of the year's top three albums. 

Show: Thurston Moore at Apple Store SoHo (free!)
Why I'm not going: Hate to admit it, but I'm really not too interested in hearing Thurston Moore's acoustic jams.  Plus I've always told myself that I'd avoid going to a "show" at an Apple store, so I'm'a keep that going. 

Show: A Place to Bury Strangers at Death By Audio
Why I'm not going: ARRRGH!  The one shitty thing about living in New York is that because shows sell out so quickly I always wind up buying tickets way in advance, for example today's Deerhunter show.  Who knew that Deerhunter would be playing a ton of other shows in NYC in the coming weeks?!  ARRRRGH!  (Note: A Place to Bury Strangers is also playing a show at Yuppie Northsix later in the day so check that shit out.)

Show: Mannequin Men at Don Pedro's
Why I'm not going: again, Deerhunter same day.  I've heard good things about Mannequin Men but I'm really anxious to get back to Don Pedro's -- great tiny, grungy non-venue.  Saw Baroness there a couple of weeks ago and it was great, yada yada.

Show: Holy Fuck with many others (including Turbo Fruits) at Galapagos
Why I'm not going: too many great shows today.  Don't know much about Holy Fuck other than that they toured with Pissed Jeans (who are fookin' awesome) and that the singer sometimes shoves a drumstick up his own ass onstage.  Neat-o!  Turbo Fruits are cool, too.  Garagey teenagers.

Show: Hull with Goes Cube at Matchless
Why I'm not going: DOUBLE ARRRRRGH!!! Love love love Deerhunter, but had I known this show was going down I would have planned differently.  Hull are either the best or second-best NYC metal band (possibly behind Early Man).  Seen 'em twice, and I've been spinning (and recommending) their debut CD, entitled Viking Funeral constantly.  And Goes Cube are phenomenal as well.  Loud and crunchy and groove-tastic.  Go over to their myspace page here and listen to "Goes Cube song 46."  If you don't absolutely love this song you can go fuck yourself. 

Show: Serj Tankian and Tom Morello at Irving Plaza.
Why I'm not going: forgot to get tickets.  I've heard parts of the single from Serj's new joint and it sounds pretty much exactly how you'd expect, which is fine.  Tom Morello will be performing in his "The Nightwatchman" persona, playing gritty, nondescript acoustic protest songs while a bunch of overprivileged, drunk white kids shout Rage Against the Machine requests at him.  "C'mon!  Play the 'fuck you I won't do what you tell me' one!  COME ONNNNN!"

October 18

Show: Holy Fuck at Glasslands
Why I'm not going: friend coming in from DC.  But, unlike the dude in Holy Fuck, I seriously doubt my friend will stick a drumstick up her own ass.  Hmmm.  Suddenly, I feel cheated.

Show: And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead and a ton of other bands at Highline Ballroom. 
Why I'm not going: aforementioned friend.  But everyone seems to hate these guys and I'd like to check 'em out sometime. 

Show: A Place to Bury Strangers at Loisada (?)
Why I'm not going: goddamn it, I wish I was going, and I'd love to catch them in a presumably tiny place I've never heard of (like Loisada).  Fuck.  I realize that I've recommended these guys several times on the site without giving any real idea of what they sound like, but I plan on doing a relatively lengthy entry on APtBS sometime soon.

Show: Jay Reatard and Turbo Fruits at Mercury Lounge
Why I'm not going: FUCKSHITGODDAMNIT!  It's shows like this one that are supposed to make CMJ so fun... I saw Jay Reatard opening up for The Ponys at Bowery a few months ago, and these guys busted out fifteen lean, mean, tight-as-a-drum punk songs in 18 minutes.  I seriously thought I'd given myself whiplash trying to keep up with them by the end of the set.  Truth be told I was a bit underwhelmed by Blood Visions but these are songs that are meant to be seen in the live setting.  GO IF YOU CAN.   (And be sure to rub it in how awesome they were and what a dickhole I am for missing it.) 

Show: The Big Sleep at Pianos
Why I'm not going: I'm a pussy.  But supposedly, these guys are great.  I was psyched to see them at the closing of the real Northsix back in January but Con Ed managed to fuck that one up. 

Show: Deerhunter at Rebel
Why I'm not going: seeing them on the 17th.  But if you have a CMJ pass and you haven't yet seen Deerhunter live, you should make sure you do so at least once before the weekend's up.