Tuddd's Muddd

A Few Random Great/Horrible Moments From Shows I've Seen in 2010

    In no particular order........

 

--Faith No More covering "Ben" at the Brooklyn Waterfront.  [Yes, that "Ben".]

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--Some dude puked all over me during the Cheeseburger show at Knitting Factory.  [Mostly pizza and beer, methinks.]

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--During the Harvey Milk show at (le) poisson rouge in March, things seemed not to be going so well vis-a-vis the inter-band dynamic.  Bassist Stephen Tanner took the stage giving the crowd an emphatic "thumbs down," seemingly castigating us for cheering the Milk.  At one point, Creston Spiers suggested a song title (presumably one from their newest, bleakest record to date, A Small Turn of Human Kindness) to the other band members, only to have Tanner wearily admonish him: "oh really? Do we have to play another one of those death dirges?"  But Stephen, we *like* the death dirges.  Anyway, towards the end of the set, the band took a brief break, with Spiers mopping the sweat from his brow in silence and Tanner sipping from his beer.  Spirits seemed... not-so-high.  Right at this moment, an enterprising crowd member yelled out on behalf of everyone in the whole room: "OUR LOVE FOR YOU IS HIGHER THAN YOUR ASSESSMENT OF WHAT OUR LOVE COULD BE!" [For the uninitiated, that's a play on the title of this album.] The crowd applauded and the band smiled.  Yay.

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--Single favorite quote I've ever heard at any show ever (non-Robert Pollard division), from the frontman of Doomriders: "THIS SONG GOES OUT TO EVERYONE HERE WHO RIDES A FUCKING SKATEBOARD!!!!!"

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--Getting punched in the cock at Floor.  Brutal!

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--During an An Albatross set, some tiny dude in the middle of the pit hopped up on my back and began riding me around like a bucking bronco.  I was (obviously) trying to get him the fuck off of me, and as such I let my guard down for a minute... at which point I got kicked in the face, knocking my glasses clear off my face.  Amazingly, I managed to catch them in midair, miraculously saving them from meeting their untimely end on the floor of the pit.  "Holy shit," I thought to myself; "that was fucking awesome!"  This sentiment lasted approximately .000166678923 seconds before, you guessed it, somebody else punched me right in the fucking eye.  Tough crowd!

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--Somehow, my buddy Devin managed to get himself kicked out of a Cheeseburger show, which is not an easy thing to do.  Considering I've seen practically every Cheeseburger show over the last three or four years, I think it's pretty safe to say that before Devin I was the last person to get kicked out of a Cheeseburger show [at this utter debacle]. 

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--Fucking cops.  I was excited to finally see Smith Westerns in April when the five-oh busted the fuck in and shut Market Hotel down.  According to this, "all five of the summonses issued in relation to Market Hotel" were dropped - just classic "cops fucking with the kids" (errr, 30-somethings) bullshit. 

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--Um, apparently I was sitting only about 20 seats away from where this brain surgeon jumped from.  Yikes/there but for the grace of god go (tripping) I. 

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--'88 Mets masks and a GbV cover.   

Baroness and Genghis Tron at Blender Theatre at Gramercy, April 1st

    I'm still kicking myself for missing last week's Goes Cube "welcome home" shows... some unexpected family shit came up here out on the Island/blah blah blah.  But I was hoping that tonight's show (ostensibly a Converge show) would deliver the rock.  Which it did.  Kinda.

    The ticket said "DOORS AT 6 PM" which had me puzzled... why so early?  Who th' fuck knows.  I got to Penn at about 6:20 and walked the mile or so to Blender Theater.  This was the second show I've seen here (Two Gallants with the comically overrated Blitzen Trapper last October was the first) and because I'm a fucking cripple, I kinda wish more venues had the same "seating optional" deal as this place-- it's kind of like a smaller Nokia Theater in that respect.  I checked out the merch table but unfortunately the only Baroness CDs they were selling were '07's awesome The Red Album (incidentally, #15 on some fat dickhead's Best of 2007 list) and their split with Unpersons, both of which I already have.  Which kind of sucks, because last time I saw them (last October at Don Pedro's, coincidentally a day after the aforementioned Two Gallants show) they had all of 'em for sale but I "only" had enough cash on hand to get First and a crimson Baroness t-shirt, going away Secondless. 

    (Also, it was at that same show -- during the Atakke set, specifically -- when I witnessed the single most fucked up thing I've ever seen at a show, namely a dude in a wheelchair getting unceremoniously dumped onto the floor, and, uh, just check #2 on this list.  Pretty fucked up, no?  And I had tix to see them at Bowery Ballroom last December, arriving early before realizing that Baroness was playing the late show and I'd have to sit through a full Richard Hawley set in addition to two more openers, meaning that I wouldn't be getting home until about 6 AM.  So I bailed on that one.  By the way, if it seems like I'm padding this review with superfluous bullshit, I am, and you'll understand why in a few paragraphs.)

    7:00 rolled around and Genghis Tron came onstage.  I can't be sure who/what website had recommended these guys, but it was probably OhMyRockness... lemme check... yeah.  I liked their set, and they kind of reminded me of Ministry mixed with, say, An Albatross but that's kind of a cop-out because any heavy band with keyboards/drum machine/samples is invariably going to be compared to Ministry at some point.  But they were cool... (dramatic pause)... even if they only got a 25 minute set.  {FORESHADOWING!}

    Although I had been to a Baroness show previously, this was the first time I had ever actually *seen* the band.  (The October show at Don Pedro's took place a month after having my ankle broken by an angry cop in DC -- long story -- and after I saw the dude get knocked out of a wheelchair I pussed out and "watched" -- or, more accurately, "listened" -- to the show from the back of the room.) They took the stage at a little before 8, ripping right into "Rays on Pinion" into "The Birthing," followed by "Isak" (yes, in the exact same order that the same three songs open The Red Album).  Although I find the the vocals to be a bit too... let's go with "linear," the instrumental sections are comprised of equally perfect amounts of technical precision, melody, and crunch, with just a nip of Southern rock thrown in there, and these three Red Album standouts showcase that winning combination as well as anything that's out there today.

    After a couple other tunes, they lumbered into the tripping-down-a-spiral-staircase riff of Red Album closer "Grad," probably my favorite jam on the record.  Love love love this song, which, with its dual guitar attack and latent sentimentality, would have fit nicely somewhere at the back end of Pelican's City of Echoes.  Sadly, this was to be the last song of their set, and I did a double-take after realizing that they were only onstage for 35 minutes!  Biggest rip-off since the criminally brief 25 minutes alloted to Russian Circles in favor of the vastly inferior Velvet Teen, Minus the Bear and some other shitburger a couple years ago at Irving Plaza.  I had no interest in seeing Converge's set so I began walking back to Penn.  Love Baroness, but I couldn't help but feel a bit, you know, gypped. 

    So, yeah, good set, but did it really justify the 4+ hours it took getting there and back home?  Hmmm, my time really isn't worth much these days, so probably.  Meh.  See ya at Howlin' Rain tomorrow night.