First off, how often is it that I ever even go out on Long Island, let alone see a show on LI? I saw Bad Religion at Mulcahey's last November, but before then.... who knows? I saw Tool a few years ago at Nassau Coliseum, but there really hasn't been much to speak of happening on LI since I moved back here in 2004. Five years ago or so, I used to love going to Dave Glicker's Downtown in Farmingdale and getting hammered while watching surprisingly good cover bands, but that really doesn't count as much of a "scene", now, does it? (Yes, I'm fully aware that I should move to Brooklyn and quit my bitching. I still have 5 months on my lease.)
I made a big, big, unforgivable mistake before heading to this show: since I've been working out a lot in a futile attempt at becoming less morbidly obese, I figured that I could squeeze in a _second_ workout of the day before heading out to this one. Bad idea. And, as a sidenote: the next person that tries to tell me that swimming is the "least painful cardiovascular exercise" or that "swimming puts the least strain on your joints" or some such other absolute bullshit is going to get a knuckle sandwich, hold the mayo, from this guy (pointing at self with thumbs). Swimming is excruciatingly painful and makes me feel like I've been strapped into a medieval torture device. (I'm thinking more along the lines of The Rack than The Iron Maiden, btw.) Mistake number two was failing to notice that the show was going to start at like 5 PM so I'd have virtually no time to recuperate from said workout.
I hobbled into the Crazy Donkey towards the end of opener Static Radio NJ's set -- don't remember much about them other than they seemed pretty unremarkable. The crowd seemed to be mostly teenagers, which by now I'm kind of used to but it still serves to instantly make me aware that I'm going to be totally drained of energy by the time the headliners take the stage. Happens every time. Local act I Am the Avalanche came next, and they were okay. Highlight of the set was a totally-out-of-nowhere cover of Weezer's "Tired of Sex." Kinda generic-but-not-at-all-unpleasant punk, and the frontman came across as a pretty likeable dude.
Next up came The Loved Ones. Seemingly out of nowhere, the singer shot off on a couple of confusing rants about Long Island kids having nothing to complain about because LI is "one of the richest areas in the world," and an all-too-long-and-incredibly-predictable "fuck the man" speech prompted by a security guard kicking some kid out. Just the picture perfect example of aimless, moronic "me no likey authority figures" drivel that the kids at this show gobbled right up. Honestly, The Loved Ones' music wasn't too bad-- poppy punk with nicotine-scarred vocals, kind of like a poor man's Social D. My throbbing legs kind of drowned their shit out, though.
By the time Bouncing Souls came onstage, my knees and ankles hurt so bad that I was pretty much on the verge of tears. The crowd instantly made it known that this was the band they'd come to see by crowding up front, jamming the pit (where I was standing) and starting the inevitable crowd surfing procession. I absolutely fucking hate this, because as one of the tallest dudes in the room, I'm pretty much ensured of getting booted in the back of the head by any and all of these little brats. Fuckin' Fuck, I'm getting old. About five songs into the set, they whipped out "Lean on Sheena" after which I beat a hasty retreat to the back of the room. I feel that it's important for me to state that it wasn't the roughness of the crowd that got me the fuck out of there. Oddly enough, today's kids don't really "mosh" in the old-school slam-dancing manner that I'm used to. Rather, they all scoot around in a counter-clockwise circle, like they're all running around the fucking may pole or some shit. Pretty lame, no? Again, just to be sure, my own infirmity and my desire to just go home, max n' relax, and lie on the couch watching sportsball was what got me the f out of there.
So, long story short, I really don't see myself going to any more punk shows where there's going to be a shitload of teenagers. Just makes me miserable.